The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week

The top of the month

The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Touch me I'm sick

By f u stomach flu - 20/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Poway

Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 227

Out of control

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 148

DIY top tips

By Doug - 24/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I tried to fix a squeaky door myself after watching a five-minute tutorial. I sprayed lubricant into the hinges, opened the door, and felt proud of myself. Then I noticed the entire floor underneath was covered in tiny black drops. I'd apparently used the wrong spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 302

Gulls on film

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'd signed up for a beginner birdwatching group because I wanted a quiet hobby. Everyone stood silently in a park for 20 minutes staring into a tree. I finally saw something move and whispered, “There!” The group leader looked through his binoculars and said, “That's a plastic bag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 112

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 28/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I bought a fancy reusable water bottle because I wanted to stop buying plastic ones. On the first day, I left it on the roof of my car while loading groceries. I remembered it when I heard a loud clunk at the next intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 302

The ex conundrum

By Anonymous - 30/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Boise

Today, an ex professed her love for me. Over the last couple of months I've been talking to another ex, who I'd give damn near anything to be with again. Both cheated on me, and, thinking about it now, my only thought is, "WTF is wrong with me?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 280

What would you do?

By Devastated - 31/08/2026 22:00 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my husband told me that he could not love me without sex. My love for him is utterly unconditional. My heart is just broken now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 390

What did I do this time?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Dover

Today, it's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend of 5 years stopped answering any calls or texts. I sent her a long email for closure (for me) only to get a response that she's on vacation. I had no idea she was going away and I don't know what I did. Time to get another dog and be done with "love" for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 92

Gooey mess

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 09:00 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 92

Attention to detail

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had a job interview in a hotel and arrived 20 minutes early. I sat in the lobby practicing answers while watching the elevators. Eventually, the receptionist walked over and asked if I was waiting for someone. I gave her the company name. She pointed across the street. I'd been practicing my interview in the wrong hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 287

Main character

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 12:00 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was at my cousin's wedding. In the toasts they talked about how my parents became their second parents and my sister became their new sister, while they've never been a real family to me. I felt like that's my fault, then I felt self-centered thinking about that while others celebrated and confessed their love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 243

I'm a good boy

By Trish - 17/09/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I took my dog to the vet and waited in the lobby while filling out a form. The receptionist asked for his name, so I wrote it down and handed it over. She looked at the form and asked, “Is that your name or his?” I'd accidentally written my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 271

Never again

By Out bitch - 18/09/2026 20:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after much begging, I let my girlfriend try out my VR headset, despite knowing that she's quite clumsy. Five minutes later, she fell over and broke it. Later, I heard her laughing on the phone about breaking her boyfriend's stupid video game toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 104

No friends, no problems

By Anonymous - 20/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I tried to overcome my crippling social anxiety and isolation by joining a club at the campus I attend remotely. Two girls at my table whispered and giggled the entire time, and one of them kept popping her lips like Donkey in the carriage scene in Shrek every few seconds. I left early with a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 79

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my husband and I were are fighting for custody of MY two dogs. Then I found out in court that a year into our marriage, he ran one of them over with his car and then had to get a new matching one, and didn’t tell me. He said, “I paid for it so I should keep it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 85

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I bought a new alarm clock because I kept sleeping through my phone alarms. The first morning, it went off exactly when planned. I promptly turned it off, went back to sleep for “5 minutes,” and woke up 3 hours later. The clock had been set correctly. I had just gone straight back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 402

Falconhoof

By Another clue - 28/08/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, after months of wondering what a mysterious key I found in an old kitchen drawer unlocked, I finally discovered it fit the lock on a storage unit. I opened it and found a box containing three other keys I had also forgotten about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 286

Discord weirdo

By Miku - 01/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, a creep messaged me on Discord, asking my brother to pinch my cheeks, and to send a photo of me pretending to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 71

Timeless

By Cindell - 02/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, I overheard my younger coworkers discussing my age. They said, “How old is she? Some days she looks like she's 35 and other days she looks like she's 58!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 87

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 12:00 - Türkiye

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 94

Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde

By Anonymous - 10/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today I'm second-guessing getting married because my husband was wonderful to my family, but horribly disrespectful and rude to his own family the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 79

Overbearing

By bert - 11/09/2026 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I ate fruit for a snack before I left to visit my mom. When I arrived, she accused me of vaping because I smelled like fruit. I'm also 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 51

Standards

By Anonymous - 13/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Davenport

Today, my girlfriend asked me what I think counts as cheating. We got into a fight about it, and she eventually broke up with me. Turns out, even by my own standards, I've cheated on her multiple times throughout our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 667

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I should never trust "Doctor Google" I was doing some research into what I could do about my spinal stenosis and the labral tear. I'm now seriously confused because working on my hip could hurt my back, but focusing just on my back might cause my right side to deteriorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 148

Thanks, I guess…

By Well, that's just bollocks - 17/09/2026 03:00 - Mexico - Tlalpan

Today, my girlfriend gave me her ex-boyfriend's hoodie as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 53

Snitched

By Anonymous - 18/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, at my new job, my coworkers pranked me by moving around the things on my desk. I was horribly upset by it and reported them all to HR. Now no one will talk to me and I'm the office pariah within my first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 733

Safety first

By Anonymous - 22/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on a whim, I tried the handle of the front door we never use and found it was unlocked. No one can remember the last time we used that door, and it opens directly onto the pavement, meaning for potentially years anyone could have strolled in at any time. Maybe they already have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 210

Savings

By Chris - 25/08/2026 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I tried to cut my own hair to save €25. I watched three tutorials, used proper scissors, and carefully trimmed the front. It looked fine until I turned around and saw the back in the mirror. I had somehow created a bald-looking patch the size of a coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 362

Squeaky

By DIY - 28/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally fixed the squeaky door in my apartment after ignoring it for months. I tightened the hinges, added oil, and opened and closed it several times to check. That night, I realized the noise I'd been hearing wasn't the door. It was my neighbor's wardrobe on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 85

999, what's going on?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we heard screaming outside our house. My wife hid the door keys so I couldn’t go outside to help whoever it was. Her excuse? “You don’t ever run towards people screaming! Haven’t horror movies taught you anything? Whoever that is out there, they are not our problem!” Selfish cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 137

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Relatable Transportation Embarrassing Clothes Job interview Work Annoying Food Health Dentist Animals Cats Neighbours Family Depression Mental health Pregnancy Smartphone Money Thief Argument Love Bikes Cars Pranks Weird Awkward Spooky

The Top

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "Nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 313

You deserved it 73 531

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 888

You deserved it 6 407

Random

Today, and for a long time, I've had a phobia of schools. I'm extremely stressed out about starting in a new school. Normal, right? Yes, except that I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 171

Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 123

You deserved it 3 359

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 978

You deserved it 339 389

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 894

You deserved it 7 758

Easy living isn't always easy...

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 190

Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 176