The Top

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By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 787

You deserved it 10 037

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 08:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 321

The value of labor

By Chad - 28/09/2024 20:00 - Belgium

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 92

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 1 116

You'll soon find out

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 00:00

Today, I had some “me time” at my computer. I'm not quiet. Finished up only to discover that I was still signed into voice chat on my computer in a public server from a previous conversation with a friend. I don’t think anyone heard me, but what if they did? FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 1 186

Cats gonna be cats

By Philomena - 01/10/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 395

No politik here

By Lia - 04/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 126

Big Tony

By lordoftheweird - 06/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 61

Can't get enough of 'em

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I ordered groceries online for pickup. Got home, unpacked everything, and only then noticed I had somehow ordered 12 cucumbers instead of 2. The receipt just said, “Quantity: 12” like that was a normal life choice. I'm gonna be having cucumbers with every meal for at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 309

Terms and conditions may apply

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you lay your cellphone on the table at a restaurant, it is not their responsibility if the server pours coffee all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 367

Gender confusion

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I went to the bathroom and thought, "Huh, why are there urinals in the girls' bathroom?", but I went into a stall, did my business, and left. There was no one around and when I walked past the bathroom again, there was a boys' bathroom sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 431

By ..… - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 4 129

Ironic

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, on my way out to get salt for the driveway, I fell and split my head. I'm now sitting in the ER waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 98

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I got ready for work half-asleep, grabbed my coffee, and walked out the door. It wasn’t until I was in the elevator that I realized I was also holding the TV remote instead of my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 199

Traumatic

By Give me freedom - 17/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, it's 2026, and my mom is still shit-scared of COVID and demands I wear a mask, slather on hand sanitizer, and just generally make an ass of myself everywhere I go. Being with her in public is so humiliating, she wears a face shield, two masks, and is equal parts Karen and Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 142

Bye then!

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 01:57 - Mexico - Garza Garcia

Today, while on holiday. I got a call to let me know my job will be gone away when I return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 102

Worst babysitter ever

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I tripped over a laundry basket while carrying my baby niece. Don’t worry, I threw her onto the couch safely. I, however, face-planted into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 105

The Sopranos? Baywatch?

By Not GOT - 21/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of saying “I actually liked the ending” during a conversation about a famously hated TV finale. Three people turned towards me like I’d confessed to a crime. One guy spent ten minutes explaining why my opinion proved “everything wrong with modern audiences.” I'd never even met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 120

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 00:00 - India - Bengaluru

Today, I found a really amazing person on a dating site. We had just begun our conversation and within 15-20 minutes, the site went offline. I thought she'd ghosted me, and she's probably thinking the same too. It's been two hours and it's still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 111

Dude, gross

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 107

Concerning

By Baby driver - 19/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Fulton

Today, a cop pulled me over and asked if I knew why. I panicked and blurted out, "Because I just killed someone?" He just stared at me in disbelief and said, "No, because your taillight's out. Should I be concerned?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 519

Toxic

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, thanks to grandparent rights, I have to allow my toxic mother, who forced me into beauty pageants when I was a kid, to visit my kids. I hate her so much but I don't have a choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 71

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, its been three weeks since my boyfriend's "hilarious prank" went off. He hid a Bluetooth speaker in my son's room and played a scary clown laugh at 2am. Now my son won't even enter his room, much less sleep in it. My boyfriend had better learn to love sleeping on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 149

Dried out

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 02:01 - Canada

Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 291

What? How? When?

By Anonymous - 06/03/2022 10:00

Today, I got broken up with by someone I wasn't even dating. They had gone radio silent for two weeks and just popped in to say it was "better to be honest" instead of radio silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 92

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about plans I've made for next week with his cousin. “What?” he says, “This is the first time I’m hearing of this!” No honey, it's actually the second time I’ve told you about it in as many days, including the exact explanation of how these plans came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 92

Zapped

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 11:01 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 151

Computer says no

By Chad - 25/10/2024 09:00 - Belgium

Today, I heard back from my dream job! I was declined by the computer system because I didn't include whether I was full-time or part-time. I work in a different department at the same place, and as part of the required documents I had included my pay records showing that I am a full-time employee of 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 103

LonelyFans

By whyyy - 01/06/2026 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, it's been two years since I dropped out of college to do OnlyFans and get rich. I've made less than a thousand on OnlyFans and have to support myself with two jobs, and no man will have me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 718

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 160

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The Top

Today, while driving on the motorway, I sneezed so hard my contacts popped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 971

You deserved it 1 438

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 225

You deserved it 3 756

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 446

You deserved it 8 529

Today, my sister couldn't find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 345

Today, my sister, who used to be my best friend, texted me asking why we never talk anymore. Hmm, maybe it’s because she stopped answering my calls, texts, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, psychic reachings, and every other form of communication since she got a new boyfriend six months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 152

Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 576