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Get me out of here!

By There there dear - 09/04/2025 12:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I hired a babysitter for my two kids for the evening. When I came home, I found her sitting on the floor, crying with a full bowl of popcorn, watching a kids' movie. Apparently, my six-year-old had decided to re-enact every scene from the movie, and she couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hug her and assure her that she was doing a great job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 129

Dude, are you OK?

By Anonymous - 29/06/2022 18:00 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 345

All natural glow

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I made a homemade face mask with turmeric, honey, lemon, and a few other organic ingredients. I let the mixture sit, then washed it off. It stained my face so bright yellow I look like I’m either suffering from a terrible case of jaundice or auditing for a live action Simpson’s movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 561

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 02:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. because my throat was swelling up. I called 911 and they determined that I would live, so I took two Benadryl and slept all day. Then I went to urgent care for my scheduled appointment time and tested positive for Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 224

He said what?!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I filed my taxes and I normally claim my parents as dependants. My taxes got rejected because my parents filed their taxes without informing me, and they don't have income. They believe if they file taxes, they get $5000 back, per Trump. It ended up costing me over $3,500 extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 154

Worked out

By leigh - 18/06/2021 14:01

Today, three days after receiving the vaccine, I was finally able to lift weights again. At the beginning of the workout, I broke my finger. Lifting weights is the one thing that keeps me from being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 176

Wake Up Call

By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00

The most frustrating sound ever.

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 91

When you run out of kibble...

By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 20:30

Say it isn't so!

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 102

Fridge Fail

By FML Approved - 24/10/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

Yeah... That was just stupid.

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 455

Happy feet

By Penguin Slide - 16/08/2022 10:00 - United States - Concord

Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 139

Bet!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 15:00 - China - Wuhan

Today, I made a bet with my classmate that I would dare to play a weird song in front of the professor. I did, and as promised, she was supposed to give me $20, but she said it was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 358

Do you even lift bro?

By Dilemma - 28/11/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has been nagging me to help her with her fantasy of being picked up and fucked in mid-air. I don't know how to tell her that its impossible until she loses about a hundred pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 203

Never gonna let me live it down

By Taylor - 08/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 87

How is this my problem?

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Beckton

Today, my manager and I were talking about one of our new hires, who I have been getting on well with already. My manager is happy with the newbie's work, but not with their interactions with our coworkers. Yeah… that's on me. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 129

Invasion of privacy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 554

Really bugs me

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 06:00

Today, most people don’t realize how relaxing it is to poop on an indoor toilet. As in, being able to do your business in peace without having to keep mosquitoes from landing on your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 123

Where am I?

By I hate myself - 21/06/2025 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 101

Go deep

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 11:01

Today, it's been one week since I went to get my birth control renewed. It also marks 16 days until I get the half that broke off in my uterus removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 118

Priorities

By Anonymous - 01/01/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm 23 and have never had a weekend or holiday off of working in my life. My requests are always denied. I've been through three jobs since high school. I understand that some workers have to look after family or kids, but the 19 year-olds, who have way more time than I do, always get it their way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 145

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I visited my mom because I don't see her much due to her living 30 minutes away from me. They just recently fixed their AC. A few hours before I was about to leave, it broke again. I tried to be patient but it heated up to over 80 degrees inside, and I'm really sensitive to heat. Thankfully they weren't offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 193

Manipulation 101

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 00:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 164

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I spent 10 minutes searching for my phone while on a call. Turns out, I had absentmindedly put it in the freezer while grabbing a snack. It was frozen solid, but at least I found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 338

SIKE!

By Scared - 06/07/2021 08:01

Today, in my psychology class, the professor had us write down our name and birthday on one side of the paper and on the other side put down a mental disorder we would like to know more about. I was going to write 'Social anxiety disorder' but I was too worried about what people would think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 257

The road to hell…

By Chris - 21/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to donate blood for the first time ever at the The 38th Annual Rock and Roll Up Your Sleeve Blood Drive. Unfortunately, someone with my exact name & birthdate was already in the system and 30 minutes were spent trying to correct the problem. Eventually, I got frustrated and left. No good deed goes unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 128

On the move

By Nathalieeeee - 23/07/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 441

Very posh

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 434

Watch people poop

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I decided to fix my squeaky door by following a DIY YouTube video, because the noise was really annoying. I took the entire door off its hinges... and couldn’t get it back on. I had door-less bathroom and my roommates had many questions before actually asking if they could help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 472

The Wire

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 170

Nature trail

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 20:00

Today, I went crashing through shrubbery looking for the hiking trail that goes so nicely along the lakeside. On second thought, the trail looked very slightly different on the map. Turns out it’s not a trail at all – I'd been trying to hike the county line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 577

Stolen valor

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at the grocery store, I saw a woman rubbing her belly lovingly and said, “Aw, congratulations!” She replied, “On what?” There was no baby. Just bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 465

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The Top

Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes. He replied, “Oh you know, I’ve seen worse, I’ve been watching Dexter.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 78

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 832

You deserved it 2 914

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 665

You deserved it 7 921

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 951

You deserved it 12 988

Today, my husband woke me up by whispering, "Can I roast my meat rod in your fudge oven?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 237

Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 102