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Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 15:00 - China - Guangzhou

Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML

agreeclassic 379

vote type 1 82

Monday Monday…

By Anonymous - 04/12/2023 12:00

Today, I used my new French Press to make my morning coffee. Turns out, I pressed too hard, and the entire press disassembled, turning my morning into a caffeinated crime scene. FML

agreeclassic 416

vote type 1 200

Covid 24

By Yudith - 01/01/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

agreeclassic 380

vote type 1 132

The main characters

By sarsuela - 08/07/2021 04:01

Today, we gave my in-laws-to-be our wedding invitations. Their first reaction was to assume we needed money and told us they couldn't help pay for the wedding. Their second move was to book hair and make-up for themselves. Congratulations? FML

agreeclassic 920

vote type 1 132

Love you Mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to log into my bank account online but forgot my password. When I hit “Forgot password?” the security question asked, “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” I put it in and it said, “Incorrect.” It turns out that I've been misspelling it wrong for years and never noticed, despite my mom dying last year. FML

agreeclassic 157

vote type 1 369

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 00:00

Today, I got a call from the police informing me that my car was involved in an accident outside my house. At least I can prove I was in another continent when it happened. FML

agreeclassic 537

vote type 1 81

Fitting in

By Keerah - 11/08/2025 04:00 - Russia - Krasnodar

Today, feeling a little bit chatty, I found this "most tolerant and supportive forum specifically for autistic people." I was never rude or sassy or anything, but got booed outta there for being "weird." Really? Too autistic for their liking? Never again. FML

agreeclassic 396

vote type 1 111

Bumbling

By Jane - 19/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume. I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for drawing stick figures. FML

agreeclassic 356

vote type 1 253

Thanks

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML

agreeclassic 161

vote type 1 354

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

agreeclassic 465

vote type 1 187

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

agreeclassic 471

vote type 1 243

We meet again (somewhat)

By Tracey - 09/09/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran to hug my best friend at the airport after not seeing her for two years. I sprinted, arms wide, yelling her name. Turns out it wasn’t her. It was a stranger with the same haircut who looked absolutely horrified as I body-slammed them in baggage claim. My actual friend was behind me, trying to film the embarrassment. FML

agreeclassic 101

vote type 1 402

Burger, everything burger

By HANGRYGAL - 15/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered enough food for three people. The cashier asked if I needed extra napkins “for the group.” I panicked and said, “Yes, for the kids in the back.” There are no kids. Just me, alone, eating like a human trash compactor. FML

agreeclassic 141

vote type 1 438

Snow day

By Chyna girl - 19/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML

agreeclassic 300

vote type 1 160

Shook

By Spooked - 18/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in my 20 years of life, I heard my dad unironically say the f-word. I was so shocked by it that I became became practically frozen for a full minute, which is not a very good thing to happen when you're at work, and your boss is watching you. FML

agreeclassic 325

vote type 1 221

Catfishing for fun

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

agreeclassic 357

vote type 1 140

Drowning

By ihateschool - 26/03/2024 22:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I've been sick for five days and I have two college essays and a exam coming up, along with a few other assignments. I've been working non-stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day, and more assignments are flowing in as I am working. FML

agreeclassic 432

vote type 1 144

TFIF, eh?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 18:00

Today, I was going to spend my weekend celebrating my first time not being sick since Labor Day. I woke up with a sinus infection instead. FML

agreeclassic 773

vote type 1 131

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

agreeclassic 580

vote type 1 181

Control

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I was talking with a friend and casually mentioned how close I live to a train station. She said that since we’re both about a day away from NYC, we should meet up there and have a girls trip. I thought it was an awesome idea. When I mentioned it to my fiancé, he freaked about money. The date isn’t even set yet. FML

agreeclassic 438

vote type 1 157

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML

agreeclassic 167

vote type 1 445

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

agreeclassic 461

vote type 1 102

Oh, hai Mark

By David - 22/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was in the check out line at a store when I thought I recognized the guy behind me from high school. I turned and said, “Oh my God, Mark?” He said, “No.” To make it worse, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Are you sure?” FML

agreeclassic 144

vote type 1 327

Bad hair day

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went all out for my kids’ crazy hair day at school. I’m talking hair dye, liberty spikes, accessories, the whole nine. I was super proud of myself and the kids were ecstatic! That is until we showed up and realized that today was pajama day. Crazy hair day is tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 302

vote type 1 199

Goofball

By Anonymous - 09/11/2025 12:00

Today, as I was folding laundry, I found some of my wife’s sexy panties. I’m kind of a hairy guy so I thought it would be hilarious to put them on and send her some goofy pics. She thought it was hilarious alright, mostly because they were our daughter’s not hers. FML

agreeclassic 104

vote type 1 522

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was in a quiet meeting on Teams using noise-cancelling AirPods when my coworkers started giggling. I assumed someone’s mic was acting up. Turns out, my mic was on, and the mysterious squeaking noise was my chair… or so I thought. Nope. My dog was also behind me licking a balloon for some reason. FML

agreeclassic 281

vote type 1 90

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 20/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry at a laundromat for the first time. I then folded everything on the table, until an old man tapped my shoulder and said, “Uh, those are my socks.” I'd neatly folded his entire load of laundry. He took it back without a word. FML

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 388

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

agreeclassic 264

vote type 1 73

Boner killer

By Anonymous - 01/06/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Meliskerke

Today, I woke up without back pain for the first time in a few weeks, so I thought it was a good day for a morning wank. When I was almost there, I felt a sharp pain shoot down my lower back. FML

agreeclassic 454

vote type 1 172

Unsolicited advice

By Heather - 16/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML

agreeclassic 296

vote type 1 133

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I went on a first date with a guy. It’s a little awkward so I went to the bathroom to do two bumps of coke, came back to the table, and realized it was ketamine. I didn’t tell him, but I was so fucked up, he offered to get me an Uber home but I told him I called my mom to pick me up instead. He left and unmatched me. FML

agreeclassic 46

vote type 1 1 827

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

agreeclassic 28 685

vote type 1 2 810

Today, my roommate played a crazy April Fool's joke on me by not paying his rent this month. Good one. FML

agreeclassic 23 972

vote type 1 1 793

Today, my friend (she's 14) said she had lung cancer. This made me and my other friend very worried for her, but now we know she was faking it since when she was "at the hospital" she was at a friend's house, and her mom came to the school to confirm she was faking the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 823

vote type 1 111

Today, my lazy, spoiled brat of a daughter screwed up her third job interview in the past month. She keeps self-sabotaging by asking the employers about the pay and benefits, and if she doesn’t like it, she walks out on them. Then she rants on how nobody wants to hire her. Gee, I wonder why? FML

agreeclassic 835

vote type 1 2 094

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

agreeclassic 10 835

vote type 1 75 461