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Venn diagram of healthy living

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 00:00

Today, after a conversation with my dentist on how to prevent further suffering, I realized that what is good for my teeth, my health, and my digestion are actually three different things that don’t offer much overlap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 117

High potential

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 12:00

Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 84

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 22:58 - Kenya

Today, my crush started uploading pictures and writing sweet messages about a girl on her status, so I assumed that she was into girls, and lost all hope. Turns out that the girl in question had passed away, and she was remembering her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 1 218

I'm listening

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 09:00

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 79

By Ecolo-girl - 11/03/2016 06:22 - France - Quint

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 072

You deserved it 2 049

Classic lineup

By LonelyInLove - 17/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Methuen

Today, a guy I had developed feelings for broke things off with me, giving me a version of the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. This was the first person I had liked/wanted to date in almost 8 years. I think I’m destined to be alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 162

Lovely day

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 12:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s this year’s first spring-like day, with warm sunshine, birdsong, and the first tiny flowers! So of course I'm taking full advantage of this delightful weather by… being sick and staying indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 135

Radio silence

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 08/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my family wonders why I don't call them more often. Probably because every single facet of my life is a disaster; medically, professionally, mentally and emotionally. Who wants to listen to a radio station that has nothing but bad news playing on it? Also, no habits that will get me an early grave. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 138

By mafille - 19/03/2015 03:22 - France

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 536

You deserved it 5 536

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 10:59

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 100

Pretentious menus suck

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 02:00

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 570

Skincrawling

By Wanna be a skeleton - 11/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was finally able to see a dermatologist and figure out why my skin problems are so awful. The good news is that I now have an answer: Hidradenitis suppurativa. The bad news is that it's a permanent condition. It's been making my life miserable since I was fourteen, and it's PERMANENT. Great. Just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 90

Buzz off

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 16:59

Today, my mother is mad at me for deleting my Facebook account. I actually deleted the account because I'd had enough of putting up with her criticizing comments on every Facebook post I made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 117

By BrefODM - 13/06/2014 03:15 - United Kingdom

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 972

You deserved it 7 532

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 249

By inconnue - 18/03/2013 22:34 - France - Lyon

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 664

You deserved it 9 154

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 227

My princess

By Kitty Princess - 07/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was late to work because I missed my Lyft… while it was literally in front of me. Why? I was busy telling my cat that she’s a princess and giving her goodbye pets. I looked up, and the driver was already peeling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 749

Honey, time to move

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 12:00

Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. My husband and I live in a cottage on her land, and her actual words were, “Well you better abort it, because you’re not having any baby in my cottage. The piss, shit, and sick will ruin the resale value.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 197

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 185

Alexa, play "Wendy" by The Beach Boys

By jake - 07/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, it’s been 2 years since my highschool ex dumped me after I went to college. Since then, I fell into depression, dropped out, and am now trying to get back on my feet working at Wendy’s. Meanwhile, she’s been having the time of her life, hanging out with bands, and got rich from TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 838

Payback

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 09:00

Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 125

Have fun!

By Outandaway - 09/03/2023 00:00

Today, I encouraged my boyfriend to get out of the house more often. So he did. He went out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 259

Crunchy

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 12:00 - Denmark - Randers

Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 167

Where to start?

By doggone - 24/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 136

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my daughter that the gold wedding ring her fiancé gave her as proof he was serious about the wedding is actually just a brass compression ring, worth less than a quid. She refuses to believe me, because I’ve never liked him. I’m a plumber; I know a brass ring when I see one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 76

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 14:00

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my crush how I feel about them. I poured my heart out, only for them to tell me that they're already seeing someone else. To make matters worse, they then asked me for advice on how to impress their new partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 218

Not so demure start to the year

By Anonymous - 23/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, it was my first day of junior year and a little freshman scumbag pushed me out of the way for no apparent reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 131

Looking good

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 16:00

Today, I decided to try a new hairstyle. I ended up with a haircut that makes me look like a cross between a mullet head and a pineapple. My friends are planning on making fun of me for a few weeks, so might as well shave it all off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 274

Please leave

By Yada yada yada - 28/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 171

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The Top

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 654

You deserved it 665

Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 2 664

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 818

You deserved it 5 277

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 6 879

Today, we've hit day 4 with no hot water in my apartment. Today is also day 4 of the office insisting that the plumber is "on his way". My neighbor just got arrested for screaming at them. Looks like we'll be entering day 5 soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 580

You deserved it 451

Today, I found out I have a bad singing voice. How? The choir judge decided to yell "STOP! Please just stop!" During my solo. In front of everyone. During the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 270