The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 8 October 2019, 14:00

Not so ready to rumble

Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342 You deserved it 156

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Anonymous · 26 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

You're not supposed to eat it

Today, I used sunscreen on my face. Said sunscreen was expired and I had an allergic reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 129

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Anonymous · 16 October 2019, 16:00

Spider-man

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616 You deserved it 1 341

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What am I supposed to do? · 1 June 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Health kick

Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 171

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UglyLesbo · 21 August 2022, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Whatever it takes

Today, I saw the girl I have a crush on holding hands and making out with another girl. When I hinted that I was into girls, in an attempt to ask her out out two months ago, she told me she was “straight as hell” and would “never resort to that disgusting ass lesbo shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 270

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Thanks, pal · 7 December 2023, 20:00 ·British Virgin Islands

Toxic workplace

Today, my subordinate didn't come to work. I called him several times, and it seemed like he just overslept, which has happened before. As I was filing the report about this, the police came to interrogate me because this guy took his life last night and blamed us in his note. I have no idea what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 592

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Anonymous · 20 August 2022, 00:00 ·Irvine, United States

The dictator

Today, my boss told me not to close my office door. What am I, 12 years-old? FML

I agree, your life sucks 810 You deserved it 131

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Anonymous · 13 December 2023, 12:00 ·Australia

Survivalist

Today, during a storm-related power failure, I jerry-rigged an inverter from my car to supply the essentials. In doing so, I managed to blow up the fridge, smoke and all. The power came back on 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 You deserved it 956

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Joe Shmoe · 17 June 2025, 00:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

We almost made it…

Today, I really really needed to poop. I held it hard. I held it really hard. I pooped my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334 You deserved it 206

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Radayam · 15 June 2021, 20:00

Late start

Today, I learned that the starting date for my class was a typo. Instead of 6/22, it was 6/2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040 You deserved it 134

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Anonymous · 20 June 2025, 20:00 ·United States

The plot thickens

Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 108

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fishyrael · 12 November 2019, 01:00

You OK in there?

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879 You deserved it 310

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Anonymous · 27 June 2025, 22:00 ·Hefei, China

Almost there

Today, the National College Entrance Examination results were released. I only got 643 points. Far fewer than my expectation. Now I have to prepare for one more exam when I enter the college in September to try my luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 249

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Anonymous · 4 January 2024, 22:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Gas giant

Today, my girlfriend refuses to follow her doctor-mandated diet, which results in, among other things, utterly rancid gas. It's so foul that I've taken to sleeping on the couch, and I'm seriously considering hiring a prostitute so I can have sex without gagging on the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470 You deserved it 252

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Anonymous · 5 January 2024, 15:00 ·Algeria

Trouble brewing

Today, I called a jerk of a client who has anger issues. As he started yelling and losing his temper, I began recording the call. The phone exclaimed : "This call is now being recorded." He hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 189

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Jen · 9 July 2025, 03:00 ·Romania

Shy guy

Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 143

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BarneyRubble · 13 July 2025, 15:00 ·Ireland

Not so slinky

Today, I managed to lock myself out of my house again. My only option was crawling through the dog door. I managed it once before, but I must've put on weight because this time I got stuck halfway. My neighbour came over to “see if everything was OK.” He then helped push me through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 408

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Anonymous · 15 July 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Smooth moves

Today, in a nightclub packed with people, I enthusiastically went in for a handshake with someone but they went for a fist bump. We both ended up doing the awkward “Pull back and retry” dance for a solid five seconds. I think I just lost all credibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 175

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Jamie Kingslayer · 15 January 2024, 12:00 ·Chicago, United States

Mockery

Today, I walked into my barbershop and told the owner to, “Give me the Jamie Lannister” (from Game of Thrones). The barbershop was silent, except for one loud laugh. Coming from my ex. She'd followed me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 628

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Anonymous · 6 July 2021, 11:01 ·Gladwyne, United States

GHOSTS!

Today, my mother interrogated me about the duct tape, that I'd put on my foot for a wart, having fallen off. I tried to explain that my foot was just sweaty. She responded by arguing that the duct tape falling off was a "supernatural event". I really wish I could afford my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979 You deserved it 94

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Anonymous · 15 July 2021, 06:54

RIP x 2

Today, my mother-in-law passed away. She wasn’t even cold yet when my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Apparently, only her mother guilt-tripping her kept us together the last few years, but now she’s dead, she’s dumping my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499 You deserved it 185

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Anonymous · 1 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

In these times

Today, after my ex left me to be number 5 or 6 to some dude, she’s now going to jail for whatever bullshit they got her into. She calls them family, and she expects me to still take my kids to visit those creepy ass polyamorous freaks she’s had them living around. No fucking way! FML

I agree, your life sucks 522 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 4 August 2025, 03:00 ·Yuba City, United States

New addition

Today, it's my 35th birthday. I’m a single father of 3 (14, 13, 12). I’m also a disabled combat veteran and have been alone for a while now. I just got news this morning that the mother of my children (who hasn’t been present in their lives at all for over 10 years and is a meth addict) is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 2 October 2022, 07:30

Calcultated

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. Over text. While I was on vacation visiting my old grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 104

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Chelsea · 8 August 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Sorry

Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 You deserved it 685

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Anonymous · 24 July 2021, 11:01

All shook up

Today, I found out that my crush had a girlfriend. The way I found it out? He hugged me from behind, calling her name and saying darling, etc. When I turned around in shock, he quickly backed away and said, "Sorry , I thought you were someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 982 You deserved it 114

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KittyT · 10 August 2025, 15:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

Goddamn climate change!

Today, one year after I purchased my house, I planned to have a fire pit to celebrate. It turned out to be the only rainy day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 91

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Anonymous · 14 February 2024, 06:00 ·Vienna, Austria

Roomies

Today, after months of searching, I finally found a flat that is affordable and with amazing flatmates. The catch? I'm developing feelings for one of them. My heart sinks when they have a date over. I'm also in a relationship. The situation is eating me up inside. I hate that I'll have to go. Cupid, go f*ck yourself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 697

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Anonymous · 29 July 2021, 04:01

Out of it

Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919 You deserved it 241

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Racist ass · 22 August 2025, 20:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Ignorance never dies

Today, my husband told our daughter to eat with her fork, not her hands. She said that in Africa, people eat with their hands. He said, "Yeah, and they cut up little girls' vaginas with a razor blade there too." Now she's traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387 You deserved it 184

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