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Bad encounter

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my ex stuck it in the wrong hole because he couldn’t find the right one, then he sucked my toes. I'm never going near another man again after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 283

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 143

This is wrong on so many levels

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 18:30

Today, I noticed my new boyfriend barely touches me casually, unless I initiate, and even then he’ll pull away fairly quickly. Apparently his dad told him about "fake rape accusations", even from women you’re dating, so he’s scared to touch me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 174

Mom! Stop!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 127

I'm too old for this

By anon - 08/06/2022 22:00

Today, my parents lectured me about how my girlfriend will ruin my life, because she's a single mom, a recovering alcoholic, and has chronic health issues. Apparently, I should be with their friend's rude, trashy daughter, who can't keep a job, and goes on a drunken, drug-fueled bender every other week. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 189

Seize the means of production

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 10:00

Today, despite my ability to generate the company around £300,000 a year, I'm paid roughly £28,000 and yet I just discovered the new hire, who still hasn’t finished her training, has been given a starting salary of £35,000, which will rise to £40,000 after her training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 143

Another betrayal

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Niles

Today, I found out that my fiance has been cheating on me. We have an 8 month-old baby together. I've been trying to help him get sober again and have done my best to be a great partner, but apparently some other girl is more important than the family he was creating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 140

Hazing rituals have to stop

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 05:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up again from another nightmare about my university's hazing fallout. Every time I see their faces in these dreams, I remember how they got away with everything, including trying to end us as they searched for the first year snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 226

American Psycho

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 16:00

Today, I visited my son at work and found his secretary in the foetal position under her desk, crying. According to my son, she does that sometimes when he yells at her for making basic mistakes. My god, I’ve raised a high-powered corporate monster. Fuck that poor girl's life and also, FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 240

God laughs

By Flipper_87 - 29/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend, who I’ve been madly in love with for 18 months, left me for some guy she met two weeks ago. I was planning to propose to her next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 146

Return to sender

By PolarBear2020 - 16/04/2021 23:05

Today, I was notified by my bank that the government stimulus check I had deposited last week had been returned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 84

Read the room

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 22:00

Today, my longtime coworker confessed that she's always been in love with me, and now that I'm finally single again she wants to start a relationship. The reason I'm "finally single again" is because my wife (who I had been with for 27 years) died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 107

Giga barf

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 06:00

Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 102

Suspicious Minds

By Anonymous - 29/04/2021 20:08

Today, I found out that my parents have always believed that every single time I have ever showed emotion, I was faking it and that I'm actually a sociopath with no feelings. I was kicked out of the theater department at my college for my poor acting skills, and they know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 126

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 141

Dream baby dream

By CJ. - 05/05/2021 20:01 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 395

I'm in this FML and I don't like it

By stupid as fuck - 24/10/2023 12:00

Today, and everyday, I'm so dumb that if there is no sign, I can’t tell if a door is pull or push. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 319

Royalty

By princess - 22/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 547

Did I teach you NOTHING?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for dinner and left cash by the door so my son could pay for it, in case it arrived before I got home. I told him they should get all the money, but I just found the tip. Apparently he thought I'd miscounted. I'm a server. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 193

Wardrobe malfunction

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Tarpon Springs

Today, I tripped and fell, and didn’t realize my tank top strap broke. I walked around with my boob out for a solid 3 minutes in PUBLIC until my friend ran up behind me and yanked my tank top back up. He found it funny, and apparently everyone else got a great view. Talk about embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 382

Booty-full

By Enya - 26/07/2022 12:00

Today, the guy from college my sister set me up with told me I'm too nice to continue lying to. Turns out he's one of my sister's booty calls and she bribed him to go on a date with me so I'd stop being so miserable and depressing. Apparently he didn't want to take me out, so the bribe was she'd let him do butt stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 167

Gone Too Far

By FML Approved - 05/10/2017 03:00

Shake it off, girl! You're doing great!

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 579

The worst excuse

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 00:00 - South Africa

Today, after my boyfriend broke things off saying he couldn't handle being in a relationship after the death of his brother, I found out that he's back on Tinder not even three weeks after the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 117

Fall of Man

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my husband moved out while I was out of town. The only thing of his he left behind was a copy of Paradise Lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 147

Stop! Hammertime!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 00:00

Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 155

You might as well know…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 06:00

Today, I was sending screenshots to my best friend about a guy who'd screwed me over. I sent the screenshots to him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 954

My body hates me

By Justin - 20/05/2021 22:01

Today, I pulled a muscle by doing absolutely nothing and now I can’t bend over without excruciating pain. I’m 15 and exercise regularly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 141

Excuses, excuses

By skj - 29/05/2021 11:01

Today, I asked my mom why the lamp in the living room wasn’t working. She immediately plugged it in, it worked, and she called me a complete idiot. I haven’t slept in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 1 065

I don't owe you anything

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for sex and when I said no, he asked me to leave. When I demanded to know why, he told me I had reached his limit: if I denied him sex for longer than 6 weeks in a row then clearly I’m not interested in an adult relationship, and need to get the hell out. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 513

Mommy's favorite flower

By Ouch - 10/10/2019 02:00 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 284

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me in a text message. Then I found out from a mutual friend that he "came out" and told everyone at our school that he is gay. He has known he was gay for years and he was just using me as a cover up. What a great way to start my senior year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 030

You deserved it 5 035

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 190

Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 162

Today, a girl told me, "You're so cute, like a monkey." I seriously don't know if it's a compliment or if I'm being insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 113

Today, my sister, who is now 19, gathered the guts to formally present her boyfriend to us. She was so concerned that my parents wouldn't let her have a boyfriend, she kept it a secret for 5 years. We were happy to hear it, until she presented him to us. He's a 35-year-old taxi driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 156

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 236