Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
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Top comments
feytensn 25
So sorry for you. But we, strangers care about you. So go out there and make some friends!
MDoremis 38
Just remember: No one is alone. There are people who feel just like you, and it's rough, but it gets better.
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Comments (72)
Ramos808 29
I'll be your friend :)
MrSassypants 34
I would take #1's request to be a friend if I were you OP. His username has Wane in it, so he could be Bruce Wayne so you would be friends with a billionaire.
18drakerad 18
And your name has pants in it. As in shit your pants. As in shit for brains. So anyone who's friends with you or listens to you has shit for brains. Just like you.
Swandive235 27
Your dad cares, but you can't get shitfaced after about 50. So he is trying to live life, I hope everything works out for you. Best of luck OP :)
SubparAtBest 23
im sensing some hostility from 35..
MrSassypants 34
For some strange reason I get a vibe that #35 might not like me.
jerryj 27
It might be because #35 is frustrated from supporting a junk hockey team.
DolphinLaser23 24
Wow that's really inconsiderate. Sorry that happened OP. Hopefully you have someone else who you can really open up to.
lfrider92 21
Sounds like your dad has more of a social life than you.
PremiumWhale 18
That's the whole point of the fml...
GhostFox 34
Sounds more like OP's father has a more damaged liver if you ask me. Also, you remind me of the type of person who sees someone with a really bad bruise and presses on it asking, "Does it hurt a lot when I do this?"
not_your_taco 15
Aw that sucks OP, but just know that there are people out there who like you and don't think you're a loser. :)
badassmf1234 22
Dad of the year
feytensn 25
So sorry for you. But we, strangers care about you. So go out there and make some friends!
MDoremis 38
Just remember: No one is alone. There are people who feel just like you, and it's rough, but it gets better.
Ben14h 22
But that tends to lead to more problems
cristy91 33
^^ Such as losing to fights against doors
tehdarkness 21
Just be yourself and don't try to emulate anyone else. People like to be friends with people who are kind and genuine. High school can be tough but stick with it an reap the rewards in adulthood.