Anonymous
Canada
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
FUCKFACECUNT
Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
Good one, thanks
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Oh dear
Kingstown, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Anonymous
Brisbane, Australia
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
sweet_stufz
Canada
TW: Gross
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
TuteBananaCupcake
Dayton, United States
Autopilot
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Anonymous
Bayonne, United States
Always check!
Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML
IAmACoolCat
United States
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
shootme
Canada
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Anonymous
Glen Allen, United States
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML
Top comments
DarkHelmet 10
YDI Enjoy walking around with crusty asscheeks
regsworld11 2
You are disgusting.
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Comments (105)
Stonedmanalex 0
Hey if theres nothing else why not
cooluc 0
I have a feeling some sort of punctuation is missing in this FML. Perhaps a comma or period?
Tjack_atack 0
15- no one cares
genesisnirvana 11
Don't be so anal.everything is spelled right so no need to be a grammar Nazi.
BagleHead 6
Better than being in a public bathroom and having to use your sock. and 15, it's called being a 'grammar nazi', not the 'grammar gestapo...although that does have a nice ring to it...
Keyman1212 14
Be a man, use your hand!!
somerandomdude19 2
Hahaha -1 ur comment matches ur profile pic :)
DishHeads 9
Use one of his shirts instead :D
eshhayz 0
Talk about a shitty situation !! Huehe
tylersign 11
Now that 15 said that, it's bugging the hell out of me.
RainbowHeadache 2
^ NO.
Kyzahhh 7
Harden up and use your socks in situations like that
thelastavailable 13
There should be a comma between "paper" and "I". Sorry OP.
TheLetterZero 7
Nope, a comma there wouldn't fix it. It requires a different punctuation mark.
TheFlyingMan 8
Well: 1. Why use the stuff in the garbage when your stepdad can get clean paper for you? 2. Your DP looks like the used paper in the garbage, and I would want that touching my ass.
Stonedmanalex 0
My profile picture is Chong man not some trash
iluvneon 0
How do you not understand 15s pun...
gmc_blossom 21
How is what 15 said a pun? Unless you mean the "period" part. But, otherwise, I really do not understand how it was a pun.
ThEKID96 4
If you have a shower in your bathroom problem solved. You'd need to shower eventually anyway so win win.
BaileyBabyBear 6
is that what your step dad did?
RandomBlackMan 0
no
tsume24 3
the way this is worded made my brain hurt...
Finn_the_human 5
That's why you keep a few extra sheets in your wallet just in case.
tsume24 3
oh, they changed the wording to make it make sense. shocking
zachherbert 10
48, if you drink something without your piercings and push it towards your lips, does it come out like a sprinkler?
tsume24 3
91 - LOL I've never tried that, but that'd probably happen! now I have a new way to bug my parents... :P
nekrodoll 0
uhm do what i do take a poopie shower!! its better than wiping ur but.
regsworld11 2
You are disgusting.
DCFan 9
I would REALLY hate to be your plumber.
genesisnirvana 11
I don't know what's worse: the fat that you take "poopie showers" , or the fact that you call it poopie showers.
streetclosed 0
I agree with regs, you are f***ing nasty.
overthelimit 3
im scared to know what a "poopie shower" involves...
Mysanitywins 10
You're doing it VERY wrong.
Majstr 23
I imagine when plumer comes to repair bath. Enter the bathroom: "There is shit everywhere!" :)
not_cool808 14
45- she shit after her shower:D
leadman1989 16
I imagined I to be more like, "now here's your problem you've got a giant rodent sized ball of human feces, coagulated blood, and teeth in your shower drain." as brilliant a start to a porno as I can imagine. Lol
gchartier90 0
54 haha and then when he gies outside. My car is covered in shit!
lilovatch 4
These people... Would you rather use a used toilet paper than wash it in the shower? Or maybe u think its better not to clean up at all... That would be disgusting Geez...
Alexisthebestest 16
I can't believe you posted this, then has the audacity to call it a "poopie shower". The **** has my generation become of?
MizzErikaHart 8
Well ur screen name says ur the bestest so u seem to fit right in with the poopie shower generation.
Alexisthebestest 16
79- No. Just No.
Fx13mz 7
79&82- Fight! Fight! Fight!
je_suis_fml 11
poopie shower = shit in toilet, then shower
Alexisthebestest 16
Ow, that really ******* shattered my ego.
JangiJangiJangi 0
gross... but don't you usually flush toilet paper, not put it in the trash can? because putting it in the trash can is kinda disgusting
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
would you like it if you were the toilet??
BellaBelle_fml 23
Toilet paper can be used for other things that don't require it to be flushed. Like blow your nose. Either way, it's still gross to take anything out of a trash can and re-use it.
shelbygordon44 7
In Mexico they don't flush toilet paper, they put it in the trash can.
ashisthebomb 0
62- yeah they do that in just about every other foreign country.
MizzErikaHart 8
I forgot..
Tyger44 1
We gt a smelly situation here
babyyappld 7
in Canada we flush toilet paper after we use it
blueflare21 3
Sucks but you should've checked for toilet paper first.
Gringe 1
Run into his room pull off his pillow case go to town then put it back on and flip it. No one will ever know!
DarkHelmet 10
YDI Enjoy walking around with crusty asscheeks
fijianchick 0
# 3 That's disgusting I'm pretty sure that's why there's toilet paper?
theboss_ishere 0
You gotta do what ya gotta doo
ChelseaFan817 0
Seems like he's a smart and frugal individual. A wise man. Lol.. Honestly tho that's just unhygienic and plain disgusting.
bro1oke 0
soo... did you?
ashisthebomb 0
No one from Canada is awesome...
yomommma 6
I hope not.