Burning Love This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff Phoenix, United States

It's getting hott in here

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

66 comments

Collection

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter

When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!

Same thing different taste

Ticklish 13 April 2014, 09:33 Marion, United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

109 comments

Mortified concert-cougher 29 April 2023, 18:00

Read the room

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

0 comment

Anonymous 28 April 2023, 15:00 Australia

Classic fraud

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

3 comments

blow me This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Vermont, Australia

Puffy

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

55 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United Kingdom

Zit remedy

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

68 comments

FilthyIke 21 August 2009, 20:17 Canada

Rash decision

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

145 comments

Burnt This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United States

Smoking is so cool

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

152 comments

lax22 This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff San Francisco, United States

Great, just great

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

114 comments

Aiaiii This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff Germany

Here comes the sunbed

Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

99 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Right back!

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML