Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
lexa1love 16
Unless you are close friends I see no way in which that is appropriate. YDI
dazzle_me_lovely 9
Are you an idiot?
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Comments (387)
roshae_16 11
Oh wow
SkoomaKi 28
What ever happened to gentleman? They seem very rare these days.
muzy 23
How could you possibly think that it be appropriate to greet someone that you probably don't know very well like that?
Cad6 24
OP - S'up dumbass. Oh don't worry, I'm just being casual.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
30. Look in the friend zone.
aaahhhfire21 0
Why the would you think that's a good idea to say that if u were interested in her for real you prolly shoulda tryed a better greeting then sup and instead of **** I'm sure her name woulda sufficed.....you definitely deserved that slap
BRITTANYHUNGRY 0
Like how doesn't he deserve that?!
LolFMLnot 10
I call my boyfriend a ****, but we've been dating for a long time. It would've been okay if u called her that after dating for a long time and not in front of your friends.
X_Codes 11
No, not the friendzone. The friendzone implies they're still friends.
kingkongsdong 5
^ I know right.
kingkongsdong 5
That was to 61 the iPhone app won't let me edit right now
1awliet 8
S'up **** isn't very friendly.
tjv3 10
You deserve it for being a disrespectful bastard
Calyx_fml 22
Why are people thumbing up "Oh Wow" as a comment?
krysxkatastrophe 14
125- because that's what we were all thinking.
DK1234567 8
Why did you have to say ****
DeviousAngel 13
On the first date, while she doesn't know you very well - let alone what kind of sense of humor you have - this isn't the kind of greeting she would be expecting at all. YDI OP.
ifoundalaska 11
It's a shame vulgar and rude is the new friendly these days for some folks... I prefer to stick with the classic "Hello, how are you?"
nado13579 12
Smooth, OP.
OHai15 12
You deserved it, twinkle douche.
DespairFaction 11
I could possibly see how you would call her **** if you banged her on the first date...but to greet her that way! That does not work well.
Daederoth 10
You clearly have no idea what laid back and casual means. You might even be retarded, you should get checked.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
83- how could your boyfriend, be a ****?
LolFMLnot 10
297 I just call him like that as a joke. I know he can't be a ****.
pickles2b2 4
Nice.
markymark1429 8
How is this an FML? This is just a "look at me, I'm a huge asshole" kinda post.
foreverhurt 6
You really are quite the charmer.
lopsop 12
You mean that line doesn't work? Damn I've been using it for years.
xFluttershy 7
Your life totally sucks, I mean, I don't even see how you deserve that after calling her a ****, calling someone a **** shows your.. Um... "charisma"..?..-.-
muppetslover 11
OP definitely deserved that one... Treat her like a lady not a ****!!
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
What a "douche bag" wannabe... Seriously, you suck with women. PERIOD
lexa1love 16
Unless you are close friends I see no way in which that is appropriate. YDI
EvilPotato 15
Even if you were close friends it's still not a good idea!
DeviousAngel 13
201 - I don't see a problem if they had been close friends. My friends (both guys and girls) greet each other this way. No one is insulted because they all know one another well and understand the humor behind it. :)
dogpup4 23
Smooth.
Awesomeaxel 24
You ******* stupid op? What did you expect??
dazzle_me_lovely 9
Are you an idiot?
Calyx_fml 22
Yes, he is.
Cuppycakeslol 4
Clearly op is an intelligent individual and quite the charmer. A true gentleman. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Zedd_fml 8
Even an idiot have that much of common sense not to say that on first date.
Il_Maestro 6
Not an idiot, a poet. Who else could have come up with such enamoring and loving diction to describe such an unmatched level of respect and value?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
This must be like a new record for shortest relationship ever
fantastamazing 10
I'm gonna go with "yes"
Wiebeski19 5
Y the hell would u say that!? Being causal with friends is not a a reason
Wicked361 8
Am I the only one bothered with the Y instead of why?
jasmine1259 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Am I the only one bothered with the annoying grammar nazis? Correcting grammar is fine but the people on this site just push it way pass annoying.
Wicked361 8
163- I'm not a grammar Nazi... But c'mon if 7 is gonna type a whole sentence perfectly except the why then what is the point... e.e
ZippandButtons 7
It's really not that hard to lrn2englsh to at least, like, a 3rd grade level.
rosesong2494 3
*past
ghostlilac 25
168 - "A whole sentence perfectly"? Seriously? (Sorry if you were being sarcastic.)
Wiebeski19 5
Looking back at it, yes lol
Wiebeski19 5
That's to wicked361's comment
amandajlucas2015 2
Actually his whole sentence has grammar errors soooo maybe learn actual grammar before just bitching about something
aksweetheart 7
148: picture/ comment win!
bubbleslovescats 1
*past. Not pass. (: stop complaining. Way worse things happen in life other than grammar nazis.
nancyschmancy 9
I was thinking the same thing. The only thing perfect about that sentence was a capital on the first word and a period at the end. I for one love that people correct the horrible short cuts people take when posting online. How hard is it to type "you" and "are"?
bglen21 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well played! At least explain u were joking...
zack11742 7
What is wrong with you
SkyBirdy 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It woulda gone better if you said *****. No joke.
Cad6 24
No it wouldn't.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
9- you're 14 years old. Stop acting like a smartass
SkyBirdy 5
Your acting like my mom. Get a life.
Snowlight_fml 7
If your mother still talks to you in this way, you can't exactly be telling other people to get a life~
Landspeed 3
A friendly "sup ****?" I wonder what you call her when you get mad.... nvm no I don't.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Dumbass