Fartini
Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I found out why I get so red all over at parties. Turns out I'm allergic to alcohol. FML
j
United States
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Craig Thompson
Bristol, United Kingdom
Today, I found out that when I drink alcohol, I snore so bad my boyfriend contemplated suffocating me with a pillow to get some sleep. FML
wherermypants
Austin, United States
Today, I discovered that when I'm drunk, I hate wearing clothes. And it doesn't matter who is around to see it, not even my soon-to-be father-in-law. FML
Anna
United States
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Anonymous
Hangover
Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML
Anonymous
Ireland
Connaisseur
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
shartface12
San Jose, United States
Hair of the dog
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
TragicallyAnxious
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wine about it
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
Top comments
trucker2 33
Stay away from tequila- I heard tequila makes your clothes fall off
Tripartita 45
"I came /this/ close to losing my virginity to somebody I met at a high school party, but they just didn't look enough like my father. Discuss."
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Comments (18)
Scotth901 22
Better not get shitfaced next time op, hope no one thought too much of it ;)
MashaV 6
Sounds like me....
trucker2 33
Stay away from tequila- I heard tequila makes your clothes fall off
FalloutScrolls 25
One tequila two tequila three tequila floor!
Bearsmomma 30
And makes you agree to sleep with your best friend's boyfriend.
OhPuhleeze 23
And that is why there is a legal age limit for alcohol. By 21 you don't care about all these things.. In my state it is 25!!! Thankfully, enforcement is near zero here.
Welshite 40
As someone who is actually older than 21, you can be certain I care about those things. There's a fine line between having a good time and having a bad reaction.
neuronerd 29
Are you Asian? There's a genetic variant that's most common in the Asian population that causes an alcohol "allergy" (red face, etc).
hyperreader 15
Why on earth is this comment getting downvoted people?
LonelyAngel22 13
To those of you downvoting this: she's actually not being racist; I read an article on this and it is true. Google it if you don't believe it.
DaDezza244 31
Yep, it's called the Asian Glow.
Tripartita 45
"I came /this/ close to losing my virginity to somebody I met at a high school party, but they just didn't look enough like my father. Discuss."
species4872 20
Perhaps you should become a comedian, Add some slurred speech, A bit of a wobble, you'll be great.
jbivens1992 17
Not everyone does well with alcohol. My husband can drink steadily all night long and be fine whereas if I have more than two drinks I'm done.
thunderniron 22
That kind of reaction is why I quit drinking. ?
URBeingLied2 23
I think it's cool that you're a virgin though. ?
rebeccacmlc 22
Am I the only one who noticed OP's username Fartini ?
Bearsmomma 30
No, you're not.