Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.
marinus_fml 20
Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)
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Comments (155)
marinus_fml 20
Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)
nond2nv 4
I'm sure he's glad the doctor didn't do that.
ObeseKitten 0
VAMPIRE!!!!
TookaWooka666 0
Anal penetration.
pimpsgirl69 0
marinus ur hot just sayin
TookaWooka666 0
I think we can all agree here that Marinus is hot, but how hot is he? Well don't answer because it doesn't ******* matter, wear a shirt like everyone else!
braasilianx0 4
lol you mad you don't have a body to show off ?! ^
GeneralLeeAdyck 0
Yup...you're gay
TookaWooka666 0
I am pretty sure I have a body or else I wouldn't be alive at this moment.
TookaWooka666 0
Hey **** everyone else at the moment, I got to say GeneralLee, hilarious pic.
braasilianx0 4
don't play stupid :)
TookaWooka666 0
Don't play stupid? Oh no I just had to comment on that shit cause really, i could care less about you bitch.
gabstahhh 8
Kinky.
aardvarkish 17
They always do that. That just make you talk so you don't notice it.
igotnolegs 1
because he's a ******...
poopy56 0
what is a hemorrhoid and a colonoscopy
knightsfb 0
96 ever hear of google?
scrapmetal58 9
Dude naw. Marinus heard from his own thoughts that it's pleasurable. ;)
pctech3 0
Had a female P. A. do that to me before, felt so good. Messed up the exam table though.
iLazy 0
Speechless
iSitt 0
the prep before the cscope will get the words out of you.
salvorican 24
Damn... Hope aliens don't wanna probe ur ass too..
iridedressage 0
reference to a Katy Perry song?
tona01 16
reference to the very old urban legend that when aliens abduct you, you get probed, or at least i hope it is not a reference to katy perry
salvorican 24
38 is right. I totally forgot that was in Katy Perrys song
sourgirl101 29
The alien probing reminds me of the very first South Park episode I saw. "Kick the baby."
mcxhunni 0
that was my first one too!
swimchica22 0
O.o awkward
the_big_x 15
You totally deserve it for whining about something that's not a big deal.
DocBastard 40
Have you ever had a hemorrhoid? No? Then I hope you get to experience the burning, intense pain, and profuse bleeding soon. Then you can come back and tell us all how pleasant an experience it is.
taytoc 10
little probes swimming inside u
DocBastard 40
I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.
guckylynn 19
Yeah... colonoscopies for 20 year olds are becoming more common. I had one at 20 for a polyp.
jellitonoctopus 19
intimate date for his prostate and your finger.
Pinkanani 12
Doc, your pictures are always interesting...what happened this time?
KatrinaKitten 16
That's a first!
rosesareblue15 0
Um, duh. Hence the "Guess there's a first time for everything." And I am SO sorry if I'm a "hater."
DocBastard 40
YDi for letting the adult in you out of its cage. No, but seriously just remember that whatever you have, we've seen worse. Unless you have Every1luvsboners' fist impacted in your rectum. There IS nothing worse than that.
amrik 11
oh that sucks. hope the hemorrhoids go away soon