Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML
Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML
Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML
Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML
Today, I was bitching to my mom on the phone about the long, boring paper assignment my Lit professor gave us. Right after saying, "That woman needs to get laid" I heard laughter behind me. I turned around. Hello professor, just on my way to drop the course. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Now your pen-is very happy! ;D
howslife123 0
they were turned on and you know it
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Comments (242)
RyanMacVey 17
yeah ... fs my username was just supposed to be funny... people here take things to seriously
jared134 0
that's gross y would u suck on a pen theirs so many germs on it
leeshxx 3
94 look at my pic closer.. u can see I'm wearing shorts sorry but ur blind. yes leesh is similiar to leash. would you like a medal. and about the kinky sex joke sorry. ur younger then me. and I choke on small things. :) have a nice day
leeshxx 3
sorry not 94 95. and u have a picture of a fat cat? are u too scared to put a picture of yourself?
fighterboy11 7
So what you're chewing a pen those immature kids are laughing at you for being bored
Luvmehateme292 0
Oops sorry, you're*. That was an accident. I'm actually a bit of a grammar freak so I'm suprised I did that. Also calm yourself my good sir. I ALSO was joking. Shoving things up peoples nose is kind of a joke I use all the time, sorry. I forgot that to most people that looks like a threat. This is just supposed to be friendly banter.
fortehepiclulz 0
"Today, some random guy comes up to me and sucks me during a boring class at school. He sucked me for ten minutes. FML."
Luvmehateme292 0
Leeshxx um just to let you know if by choking on small things that was a sex joke referring to ME then sorry sweetie, I'm a girl. So unless you choke on imaginary things you should be all good. Also yes a medal would be FREAKING AWESOME!!!! Oh by the way I used to have a pic of me up. I recently changed it to that picture of my cat.
JesseOhNine 0
oh owned
leeshxx 3
if ur a girl why would u want to make a sex joke? sorry love but I don't swing that way. and sorry for the confusion ur cat doesn't tell me what gender u are. just that 1 ur obviously self loathing of ur appearance 2 people made fun of your picture or 3 you are in move with your fat cat :) so please no kinky jokes keep them between u and ur cat