By Theo Edwards - 15/7/2021 02:01

Worried

Today, I found out my girlfriend is talking to some guy from across the country. When I ask about it, she claims, "Oh he's just a friend, and won't talk to him anymore." Now she's doing it secretly and deleting messages. She has kids, and I care for them and her, but I don't know what to do. FML
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By  Bogrbon  |  24

If she’s really just “talking” then she shouldn’t have a problem with you reading the messages, and if she’s deleting them there is something to hide. At that point you’re done, like it or not.

By  DoctorPALO  |  12

She's already lied if she is still talking to him. If they were "just friends," she would have nothing to hide. I don't know about you, of course, but if you can't trust her to be honest with you, I don't know how she could possibly love you. Maybe it's just me, but trust, honesty, and open communication are the foundations of real love.

By  Iamthebanzai22  |  18

Sadly, most people are like used cars: They look great until you look up close. That is why virtual boyfriends/girlfriends are such bullshit. If you talk to someone online, you basically build an image of that person in your head and you fall in love with that image, which is why actually meeting them is usually a huge let-down. If you are serious enough about her, let her go meet him. She will probably find he is not such a prince charming in real life and you will look like the hero. She sounds a bit flaky though, messing around a guy who is giving her and her kids a home. Where did she meet him? Was she looking online for 'Friends'?

By  jessgio1979  |  5

it she isn't meeting the other guy in person but hiding the fact she is talking to him it is still cheating.
without anything physical
it's more an emotional relationship. which can be worse.
the guy that posted this has kids with his wife. so it's more complicated. sometimes people stay married for the kids. that can cause worse problems for the kids. if he can't trust her then their relationship may as well be over.

By  ninithel  |  16

you know. my controlling ex wouldn't let me speak to any male friends. so if I wanted to speak to them at all it would have to be in secret. just because you talk to someone doesn't mean you're cheating.

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  Isaac Shields  |  9

if you're doing it behind your SO back then it's cheating if you're doing nothing wrong then there's no reason to hide it even to avoid arguments the moment you hide it is the moment you become in the wrong do it openly and if he's that insecure them it's not going to work out anyways

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  ThegatiX  |  6

But he asked her about this "friend," and she *voluntarily* said she wouldn't talk to him anymore-- then does it anyway.
This is different from a controlling SO; she is clearly hiding something.