Miscellaneous: Whodunnit

Whodunnit

By emily - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 421

You deserved it 4 365

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Same thing different taste

By fffemaleee - 31/05/2015 18:21 - United States - Waterford

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 280

You deserved it 3 967

Invasion of the bodysnatchers

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 6 119

By xxteenhearts - 29/05/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 130

You deserved it 4 178

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 345

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 027

You deserved it 3 380

Trickster

By Oxnar60 - 08/08/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 215

You deserved it 2 005

By foretwintie - 06/06/2009 11:18 - Canada

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 229

You deserved it 8 287

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 753

You deserved it 3 103

By unluckysamaritan - 15/10/2016 08:51 - Sweden

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 525

You deserved it 989

By calli - 25/12/2009 21:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 4 614

naem 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:14

Did you cut anyone open today? It's probably in there

Sevenfold 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 16:29

wtf? How do you think someone stole it? You LOST it, idiot.

Comments

Hjade 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 19:50

damn zombies

I_Ate_The_Cookie 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 4:00

Hmm..Grow a ******* brain!Stop wasting peoples time,because if you really and truly dont think they STOLE it,then you lost it. Dumbass.-_-

loopsy_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 6:04

You didn't lose it. It was in your pocket the whole time

oscar6464 8

Monday 1 October 2012 0:45

2 words, zombie apocalypse

paintedchocolate 30

Tuesday 19 February 2013 20:18

You never know...

lowshadows 21

Sunday 22 September 2013 20:32

i see dead people

poor_gurll1198 17

Monday 14 October 2013 23:57

Did you try calling it, or was it DEAD?

Federgirl 19

Monday 16 December 2013 6:59

or was it??? lol jk.

polarbearpiss 15

Sunday 10 August 2014 22:38

you lost it?

Nyame 19

Sunday 21 December 2014 20:25

You can never be sure...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 868

You deserved it 24 000

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 282

You deserved it 6 682

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 664

You deserved it 11 357

Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 123

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 213

You deserved it 3 865

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 530

You deserved it 7 421