Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
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Top comments
Srs_business 7
He's a damn good ninja then.
Demonfish 14
Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!
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Comments (147)
Acik91 26
One does not simply find a ninja!
amerikaninfidel 2
Your meme is bad and you should feel bad
brackaman 18
12 Your use of a meme is awesome and you should feel awesome
Acik91 26
Awesome it is, then.
spazz666 18
Just a little spoiler alert, the "one does not simply" meme is actually not correct with the movie. Aragorn doesn't say that line.
crduncan 6
Thanks, buzzkill.
emilyjgraham 34
why are people like 92 determined to ruin other peoples fun?
rudegirlmania 10
92, that's cool...except the dude in the meme isn't Aragorn. So...
Zapagap_fml 8
92 That's because Boromir says it. Nerd one-upped
twinkiefeets 17
115-you have great eyebrows!
ATSViper 15
167 - You have a creepy comment.
ShadowsHeart 3
well no ****** shit its baromir that says it.
nmlutgen 11
A ninja simply finds you. Be happy your still breathing.
skittlestrailmix 14
It's hilarious from an outsiders point of view.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Time to change the meds your on.
Pleonasm 35
It's just the manifestation of her large, black dog, come to kill her.
gc327072 30
Probably the same meds that made them nurse the rotten celery.
lonecracker 5
Best problem ever!
pjmommy 9
it might be time to move op
StanSmith2013 26
Good old Ninjas, the reason why you have so many odd socks!
roxannam 14
I thought that was Waldo's doing?
tj5810 21
I'd cool it with the reporting. The cops are going to think you're a loon. You're going to have to take matters into your own hands. I suggest some weapons training. :P
st333ph 12
Slenderninjaman
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Unless he's tall, wearing a business man outfit, and had extra limbs, it is not Slenderman. Just, no.
boofgall 16
33- Is this all you do? Pick at other people's comments? Piss off.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
45 - Piss off? I think I'll piss on you, instead. After all, you are sushi, and should naturally smell like fish. If you don't like my comments, you can calmly skip it. Glad you took the time out of your adult 21 year old life to harass a 17 years old minor due to some idiot, completely unimportant comments on the internet, though. Cochino.
KiddNYC1O 20
Wow, ninjas are so stealth that 33 missed the 'ninja' in 20's comment...
finaldawn551 0
Dat slenderman
xXxIracebethxXx 14
113 - Your comment make me laugh out loud XD
gregkingsley 4
They will never catch me! See u same time tomorrow dear!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
A ninja never reveals him/herself. YOU ARE NOT THE NINJA!
spazz666 18
Well since its an anonymous website he could be the ninja. Nice try though.
padlarf 14
Yeah, that's your neighbour. Kthx.