Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
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Top comments
Srs_business 7
He's a damn good ninja then.
Demonfish 14
Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!
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Comments (147)
Psycho_Babydoll 26
So stop looking out of your window every morning, find a new morning ritual. The ninja will get bored, problem solved!
Twisted_Angel 17
lmao, are you sure he was real? maybe it's your neighbor screwing with you?
I3eefChowFun 7
That's your ninja letting you know that u you're safe, that he's watching over you while you sleep.
theannak 7
This is when you buy a gun, and next time you go to greet him, aim it at him in his view. Maybe you'll get lucky. He falls off the roof, breaks some stuff, they just assume he was a burglar...no needs to know.
erinchick1 7
Maybe it's your neighbor trying to freak you out...or ninja stalker
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Anybody else pictured the evil monkey in Chris closet? Only, dressed as a ninja of course.
MrFuckingFrazier 3
Dafuq I just read?
Marrach 7
You Sir, just read an FML.
maemismile 22
That's so awesome!!!!
tutikushi 10
you are from washington so you must be hillary clinton. meh..
BIGxJOSH 5
That's epic