Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
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Top comments
Srs_business 7
He's a damn good ninja then.
Demonfish 14
Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!
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Comments (147)
SaturnV 25
Maybe you should change up your routine a bit? Choose another window to look out, or skip that part of your morning altogether. He obviously gets some thrill from you knowing he's there (and you checking for him each morning), so if you deprive him of any acknowledgment, perhaps he'll get bored and stop.
Marrach 7
Take a picture? Record each day for 2 weeks reading the date and looking?
Wiringify 22
Seems that you've been Targeted. Just like your username.
Denomic 9
That's pretty "G" if you ask "Me".
interesting33 36
Maybe it was your neighbour? Trying to scare you. If it WAS a ninja - then I would say don't worry because the only reason you saw them was because they let you see them. So they are just trying to make you paranoid. Don't be. It is just some prankster joking around. Don't always be looking over your shoulder. I might be wrong - but sorry you had to go through that OP. Still funny though..
sammisweets93 12
Sorry.
streetracerVC 9
haha im sorry, but that just totally reminded me of the monkey in family guy. :D
hollywoodt1ts 15
hallucinations? or the best ninja alive?? I guess we'll never know. p.s. I want to apply to be a ninja. is there a school for that?
greeneye_fml 12
Sounds like an awesome morning.
zenrael 21
Ninjas, the new peeping toms