Health, Wanker and Intimacy: Whatcha doin'?

Whatcha doin'?

By ImilkedYourMom - 03/05/2016 13:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel room all by myself for the last couple of days, I got naked and let the air conditioner cool me off. I then had to explain to my roommate that walked in on me that I seriously was not jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 573

You deserved it 2 135

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Same thing different taste

Appropriate work attire

By NiceShirt - 18/10/2022 21:00 - Japan

Today, I cycled to work. Since it was so hot out, I decided to go shirtless, then I would put it on before I entered the building. Ninety minutes later, I arrived at work. My shirt, however, was still at home on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 993

Cool off

By chumleevil - 08/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 263

You deserved it 3 504

Drying times

By helplesssssss - 07/08/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 154

You deserved it 15 169

Run run run!

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 20:33 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 3 646

Take it easy on yourself

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 00:01

Today, I came back home from a holiday with family. Finally being on my own, I did some catching up on my masturbation. I have jerked off so much and/or so vigorously, I now have a carpet burn on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 661

Alexa, play "Hot Hot Hot" by The Cure

By Talented73 - 07/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Yonkers

Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 151

By Heather212 - 26/10/2017 07:26

Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 365

You deserved it 1 407

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 229

By callmeclarence - 23/06/2014 05:41 - United States - Valencia

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 070

You deserved it 5 633

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 912

You deserved it 5 805

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 4 May 2016 9:35

"Today, I caught my roommate jerking off. He tried to deny it despite having masturbated furiously enough to cause intercrural chaffing. Then he muttered something about my mom and dairy. FML"

bheaze 20

Wednesday 4 May 2016 9:29

Never heard of a cold shower? Sounds like a better option to me when you're in a possibly communal room. But hey, to each there own I guess..

Comments

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 4 May 2016 9:15

I see your username but if your roommate saw it, im sure he'd insist you really milked yourself.

bheaze 20

Wednesday 4 May 2016 9:29

Never heard of a cold shower? Sounds like a better option to me when you're in a possibly communal room. But hey, to each there own I guess..

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 4 May 2016 9:35

"Today, I caught my roommate jerking off. He tried to deny it despite having masturbated furiously enough to cause intercrural chaffing. Then he muttered something about my mom and dairy. FML"

fushengyuan 20

Wednesday 4 May 2016 11:34

You can counter-prove him if u show him it :)

krazy789 28

Wednesday 4 May 2016 14:02

well you could've atleast had some underwear on

andrmac 25

Wednesday 4 May 2016 16:30

You need better riding clothes.

MikeyScene420 17

Wednesday 4 May 2016 19:37

So what if you were? Last I checked it was legal. If he has a problem he's a hippocrate.

soulreaper12296 28

Thursday 5 May 2016 21:40

Ya it's ok, but if you're sharing a hotel room with someone you should do it in the bathroom and not out in the actual room where they can just walk in on you. And it doesn't matter if they hadn't been there for a couple days; they could come back at anytime, such as in OP's case.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 4 May 2016 19:51

Uhmmm, if you were soft it seems your denial would be easy to believe. Otherwise, it would be a pretty hard sell.

mrbman 3

Wednesday 4 May 2016 19:52

14 miles in chiraq? you're lucky you didn't get killed.

SixthSinEnvy 39

Thursday 5 May 2016 3:02

You realize that it's a small section of the city that's disgraced us with that "title"? Most of it is gorgeous, neighborly and kick-ass. Don't talk crap if you've never been here.

Beepee04 10

Wednesday 4 May 2016 19:59

Ydi because that was stupid on your part. Why would you stay naked knowing that people could come at any time. Had this been your own personal hotel room then it'd be a different story.