Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. Turns out, just because the new redheaded guy at work doesn't say anything about you calling them "Ed Sheeran" all the time doesn't mean he's not reporting it to management. FML
Today, I got in an argument with my boss and I dared him to fire me because he has always said he couldn’t run the shop without me. Turns out he was just being nice all this time, my job could in fact be done by his 14 year-old niece with no training in two thirds the time. Yes, he fired me. FML
Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, my boss fired me, saying he’d had a lot of patience with me, but now the time had come to part. Funny, a few months ago he told me that he had to have a lot of patience with each of my coworkers when they started, but that I was the only one who grasped it all right from the start. FML
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
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Top comments
bobbybev95 17
Sorry to say it but YDI. You don't go around talking bad to people you don't know or that you don't trust to keep a secret. And you definitely don't go badmouthing a boss to some new guy
MitchRapp 20
Looks like you're the prick.
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Comments (46)
band_geek 18
Like to jump to conclusion that anyone "new guy" is JUST a "new guy"? Why not try and actually be thoughtful and not make judgments about those above you and be nice when you don't even know who's your uppers?
Inkoseh 33
YDI. Never speak bad about someone you don't know, especially TO someone you don't know either. You're a total fool!
OptimusSlime 23
Didn't you ever learn that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything?
mariri9206 32
Sounds like you got yourself into a prickly situation.
ezrajab 22
Sorry op YDI NEVER talk bad about people especially at the work place!
mariri9206 32
Especially to strangers.
Talented73 54
Especially a prick who can fire people.
KickAss73 12
YDI I hope you've learned your lesson
igg125 30
I really hope you got fired.
JosephKorso 15
You're a dumbass. Never talk shit about anybody higher on the food chain. Karma will bite you in the ass.
GabbyPLluch88 13
about you: look who's talking my friend. about the new guy(manager): legally he cannot use the word FIRED...just so you know
anonymoussqueak 16
should've asked where he heard said news before you go talk shit man