Today, I met a close friend of my husband's for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage, and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been a year since my wife agreed to an open marriage. A friend said at the time that she would get a lot more sex than me, and would end up leaving me. I ignored him because he's a basement dwelling Trump supporter who's never had a girlfriend. Turns out he was completely right. FML
Today, my boyfriend let me in on a little family secret. His brothers often swap girlfriends and wives. They insist it’s not weird because the siblings themselves aren’t doing anything together, just the in-laws. It’s still too close for comfort and too weird to ignore. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Today, I'm in an open marriage and had to admit to myself that I caught feels for my "friend with benefits" who was only interested in the "benefits" part and I had to break it off. I already miss the sex. FML
Today, I'm in a polyamorous relationship. My husband and my boyfriend are both aware and are okay with it. Today they met. Not only are they okay with each other, they’ve hit it off. They've drafted a schedule of which days they want, meals, and chores for me on those days. FML
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
Today, I went to a colleague's house for a barbecue. Another colleague's wife was there, and when I say there were sparks between us, there were SPARKS! Later, her husband discreetly informed me that they're in an open relationship. I just wish I didn't have my boring unadventurous wife at home. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's husband for the first time. It went surprisingly well, despite neither of us knowing the other existed before tonight, but it's still a miserable situation no matter what. FML
Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML
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Top comments
bdfortin 0
The marriage is so open you can just walk right out.
darkmis1 18
Well now it's most likely not a marriage at all.
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Comments (51)
swimdiva 0
Haha HotSauce (love ur name) but why does she deserve itt? this dude SUX! well I mean, he obviously doesn't suck literally unless he's sleeping with other men too... I vote FYL
kashar 0
Fail for trying to explain sucks...
justmyluck1212 0
Send your husband back to the Oneida Community.
LevyLove 17
damn what a piece of shit...
rightonlooser 0
like you
White667 0
Well apparently it IS an open marriage, you just didn't know. Sucks to be you.
remmyulove 0
Wow. What a douche, I'm really am sorry and what a way to find out.....
Ninjaface 0
You mean you could have been having crazy drunk fivesomes all this time and your husband forgot to tell you? FYL indeed.
FoundManyLemons 0
Hahahahaha DTMFA. Hint to all people everywhere with someone in an open relationship: if your lover's other partner doesn't independently confirm it, it's not an open relationship.
charliewhippet 9
Wait, your husband's close FEMALE friend said this? Sounds fishy to me. Is she trying to stir up trouble because she wants him??!!
Rayn4u_fml 0
...that you know of.
krysxkatastrophe 14
I wonder if she's mad that he lied to her too.