Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
You don't hit those kind of balls in pool
kymidwest 0
Rack em' ;)
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Comments (128)
cherrylime 0
snow globes ;) niceee never heard that before.
hqbrat 8
U sure now how to break the group
hqbrat 8
He was trying to be a professional he failed
Kitsune1998 0
Karma
fortch15 0
Don't think I've ever seen cicada spelled out haha
auzz1_pride 9
59) just to clarify this to everyone, I can't go on google ever since my pathetic brother tried download some stupid hack and now my computer is flooded with Trojan viruses do there is your answer.
Bamaf22 6
Ninja skills do not pay off.
IQWasJustLowered 0
I'm surprised no one said anything about the snow globes
bizarre_ftw 22
The bug's plan went perfectly
docscientist 10
Because Cicadas are super threatening.