Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
You don't hit those kind of balls in pool
kymidwest 0
Rack em' ;)
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Comments (128)
kirra16 5
Sorry but what's a cicada?
THE_A_TEEN 28
I'm sorry, but what is Google?
ycrem0n 21
It's a kind of insect, produces sound that is somewhat like crickets
RedmontFief 7
VERY interesting creatures actually! -17 is right i think you should look them up.
zombicidal 11
only much much louder and more annoying than crickets (its like what the pokemon ninjask is based off of)
kirra16 5
I looked them up, wikipedia and everything and damn those are nasty! And you can eat them?!
auzz1_pride 9
17) sorry if I sound a little rude but do you really have to be such a wanker? can't just keep your mouth shut instead you have to be a smart ass instead of just telling him what it is. bravo kid you are officially the cockloaf of the year.
The_Hitdude 12
36-Yes, you can eat them. Apparently recently they made an ice cream for them, and it sold out! Weird, right? But in the time it took someone to answer your question, you could've looked it up 10 times over. 41-Although 17 may have come across as a little harsh, the FML community has little tolerance for people who are too damned lazy to look something up, and instead would rather waste thread space asking a question they could have easily found the answer to in the same amount of time. I see you are fairly new, so this is something you will learn soon enough.
KunoKanashimi 3
You know it was said in the FML what it was, right? A bug. Random fact: Tsukutsukuboushi are a type of Cicada.
auzz1_pride 9
70) true but I think he wanted a better definition of what it is.
annihil8or 15
I'm sorry, but you're a douche
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well, there goes your future children....
funnynesh 10
That was just plain pathetic,no offence…
mischiefkel 17
That was just plain bad spelling, no offense.
auzz1_pride 9
I don't understand how it was bad spelling.
DerynSharp27 4
Ouch.
joeystar95 4
Ow i've unfortunetly felt your pain before
littlemsweirdo 12
I just winced in pain at the thought.
andiiturtle 0
"snow globes" am I the only one who chuckled at this?
dmann56 0
I agree, I think YDI for saying snow globes lol
THE_A_TEEN 28
Apparently, saying snow-globes now gives you a free whack to the balls? If you clicked YDI just for that, you're an idiot.
skaterchick1912 15
Ahahaha! Can't get over the "snow-globes" xD. I'm sorry to hear that your future children were affected though.
L_Lovegood 19
Two in one? :/ Comfort yourself with that it'll make a fun story in a couple of years... hopefully.
SloppyFlamingo 4
Three in one?
jsm007 5
First of all what in the **** is a cicada or what ever the **** that word was
proud2fly 7
At first I was thinking "oh no he wrecked his collection of snow globes!" what a silly euphemism.
auzz1_pride 9
Don't worry I thought something similar, gotta love Americans and their slang terms.
FMLgirl11 11
I thought he was meaning he ruined his friend's snow globe collection near the pool table...but that was only for a second ;)