Two-way street

By misspukesalot - 14/07/2020 14:02

Today, at 7 months pregnant, I have come to accept the morning sickness isn’t going to ease off. It’s so severe that I don’t make my meal choices based on calories or even cravings, rather on how bad it’ll taste when it comes back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 125

Vulture

One-sided

Ran out

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 02:01

Today, I spent several hours consoling my crying girlfriend. Why was she crying? She had been told to stop 'leading on' a guy at work who has a crush on her. Worse yet, she has a crush on him, thus the crying. Worse still, this isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 571

By Noname - 09/03/2009 17:04 - Canada

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 082

You deserved it 8 642

Going well

By Sam - 25/06/2014 05:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 928

You deserved it 4 410

By spenmy - 13/06/2010 09:56 - United States

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 224

You deserved it 3 319

By didntevenknow - 13/08/2012 15:06 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 510

You deserved it 37 923

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 2 900

Cyclist's drip

By buyouyou - 28/08/2021 12:01 - China - Beijing

Today, I cycled to the office in my new uniform pants. When I arrived an hour later, my sweat had already soaked through them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 787

By disturbedtosaytheleast - 27/01/2012 11:19 - Canada

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 941

You deserved it 2 658

By okaythen - 02/03/2016 23:50 - United States - Arcata

Today, I got written up by HR after my new coworker told them I had an ignorant, offensive caricature of Native American people decorating my desk. It was a framed photograph of an actual Native American tribe that belonged to my history buff grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 257

You deserved it 1 527

By Fooled Wife - 14/09/2018 14:30

Today, my husband was arrested on 2 felony charges in a sting. We've been married 5.5 years, had almost enough money for a down payment on a house, were trying to get pregnant, and had a non-refundable trip to London planned. We are now broke and on the verge of divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 261

By seriously - 05/03/2013 00:43 - United States - Goshen

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 020

You deserved it 18 466

By lifeguard down - 01/08/2010 04:23 - United States

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 654

You deserved it 13 271

By dafuqdidisee - 19/05/2013 06:30 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 809

You deserved it 5 287

Let me out!

By Archie - 07/01/2010 08:31 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 4 216

By Yoshi - 31/01/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110

You deserved it 6 439

By Loverscry - 05/11/2014 22:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 032

You deserved it 4 640

By toazt - 10/10/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 430

You deserved it 3 483

By Soakedandbroke - 26/01/2016 17:05 - United States - Houston

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 882

You deserved it 1 748

By no sir I have not - 08/03/2013 00:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 331

You deserved it 36 251

By TOOshort - 23/04/2019 16:00

Today, several of my apartment complex neighbors walked right by me as I struggled to clean the inches thick, icy snow off of my SUV. I’m 4’11. Not one person offered to assist me, even after I slipped and fell several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 2 169

By agstadra - 08/12/2010 15:24 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 899

You deserved it 3 185

By QuicksilverMaximoff - 30/01/2011 14:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 823

You deserved it 3 101

Denial

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 23:00

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 171

Shark Week

By sharkboy - 11/06/2012 02:33 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 866

You deserved it 31 184

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 893

You deserved it 188

By mannnnn2717 - 20/12/2009 22:41 - Australia

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 799

You deserved it 38 432

By NowHomeless - 31/08/2010 23:13 - United States

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 712

You deserved it 3 279

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 234

By Garry - 04/05/2012 21:53 - United States

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 140

You deserved it 5 411

By janegeorge - 12/01/2015 00:39 - Canada - Kanata

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 403

You deserved it 3 807

By whoevenncares - 04/09/2015 01:06 - United States

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 846

By minette08 - 29/01/2010 21:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 031

You deserved it 3 052

By Sue - 26/03/2011 15:41 - United States

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 007

You deserved it 3 516

By schoolgrlstaci - 07/04/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 012

You deserved it 102 780

GPS FML

By lostinthewoods - 30/05/2019 04:00

Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. When we got to the bottom of the mountain, we discovered we were on the wrong side. We had to hike 13 extra miles to go around the mountain to get back to our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 345

By richgirl - 25/02/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 075

You deserved it 4 545

By UNmarried - 31/08/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 761

You deserved it 4 147

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 108

By prisonbitch - 18/02/2010 17:41 - United States

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 38 579

To each their own

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, taking a piss still gives me more pleasure than masturbation or sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 259

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Top comments

Gradask 10

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 14:42

Have you been check for Hyperemesis gravidarum? It sound like that because morning should have gone away by then

ojoRojo 27

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 16:43

Awww I’m just a month ahead of you. At least you’re getting close to the end?

Comments

Gradask 10

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 14:42

Have you been check for Hyperemesis gravidarum? It sound like that because morning should have gone away by then

Gina Marie Lombardi 12

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 18:59

My daughter had that through both of her pregnancies and it was bad, she landed in hospital on I.v’s a few times plus she wasn’t gaining enough weight because of it

Gradask 10

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 20:25

So did my friend, she is told not to have more children, nr 2 nearly killed her.

ojoRojo 27

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 16:43

Awww I’m just a month ahead of you. At least you’re getting close to the end?

Kurliez408 32

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 17:19

my sister was the same, at least it'll end soon!

crsyldy 19

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Tuesday 14 July 2020 23:20

Could be hyperemesis gravidarum, be sure your doc is checking your hydration levels and weight gain. Good luck, you’re almost done!

MN_girl21 7

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Wednesday 15 July 2020 5:36

I struggle this way as well. Are you on any medication? I’ve had to try a few. Currently on my third pregnancy. I definitely don’t get it as severely as some women do but I spend my whole pregnancies vomiting unless I’m medicated. Then I just always feel sick and occasionally vomit.