Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
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Top comments
dont_doubt_me 29
Your mother is despicable. Why would she even do that?
Grauncho 27
She's attempting to plant the seed that will grow into an inevitable divorce. Clever girl.
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Comments (53)
evenangelsfall 9
That'd be the last time for a long time (if ever) mom got a visit from us.
Kkkdawg 27
Maybe the husband and the mother had a talk behind OPs back, and everything isn't going as great as she thought? Or grandma's just a ****. Either way, this should be straightened out ASAP.
xRezSynn 15
Crafty grandma
perdix 31
You're obviously in denial; you do have a marital issue: your mother. Next time, marry a man Momma approves of and all will be well. Consider your current husband as a rookie mistake.
xSkittle 16
And why exactly? OP doesn't have to live the life her mother wants her to live. OP has a child, so am I sure she can make choices without mommy's approval.
perdix 31
#42, please refer to my humor-impaired comment above.
xSkittle 16
That sarcasm was a little hard to spot.
cakefete2 31
Is that why your cat got glasses?
xSkittle 16
My cat? That's me, sir.
rundas09 8
Perdix always uses humor like this, and I appreciate the subtlety of the sarcasm.
nix1993 41
Not finding something you wrote funny does not equate to humor impairment. Sometimes sarcasm just doesn't work, especially on the Internet.
stephers444 17
What a bitch
notsofriendly 17
Guess you're going to choose your dad too after that one
jasdanu 12
I wonder what she's trying to do …
monnanon 14
except its ops mother.
DanielleinDC 34
Wow. Either your mom knows something you don't or she's a nasty wench trying to sow dissention.
mooman36 15
Sounds like a joke to me. Perhaps not the best one but all quite innocent.