Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, while driving, I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Honestly... your ex is awesome. That's the best thing he could have possibly done in that situation.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Which is why you switch the ringer off before pulling such stunts...
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Comments (122)
Tungmup 0
I'm sortof thinking about buying some toilet paper. What's it like? I've been using lettuce leaves all my life, but people tell me it's wrong. How does it work? What's the clogging ratio? Where's my hat?
emilysanftwsom 0
Even as a joke, promoting suicide is disgusting.
Tungmup 0
What the ****, who changed my underpants?
8trickster8 0
LOL
Tungmup 0
Dear person who changed my underpants, if you had the decency to tickle my knob atleast have some ******* petrol and go back to McDonalds to get some McNuggets.
Veritas143 0
I took his hat..but i did not touch his knob! But always remember..the clockman is always sweeping the north star..
capslockisgood 19
What?!
shadexilmaendu 4
I up voted all of you because this conversation is so ridiculous.
VirtuallyUnbreak 0
You suck ydi
kingkash 0
Air plane Mode... nuf said
Prawn_fml 2
You mean 'off'? That would work. Either way - OP->total fail.
noshitsherlock 0
YDI. You could've just put your ring on silent.
hk_fml 9
I think you had it coming =S shoulda put the phone on silent!
scillya 0
i agree with what most people said already. silent is a wonderful sound option
scillya 0
i agree with what most people said already. silent is a wonderful sound option
paivarotti 0
shhhh
sarcasticbitch 7
hahahahahahhahaha how lame people can get?
mrzero 0
high5 to him
GR3453m0nk3y 4
wow totally deserved i do something like that whenever i go to my dads office building cuz theres this lady that always talks to everybody and NEVER stops talking. never. so when i see her coming i just pretend my phone started to vibrate and "answer the phone" my solution to this is when youre holding your phone click the sound button down a bunch of times. its what i do