Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
miSsFlien 15
Would've slapped her back the second time.
Pwib 14
I really don't see any way this could be OP's fault...times like these I question the people saying YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Kitten_Calderon 14
Ok.. Either she has horrible memory or she is a bitch. She deserves something the second time around
HomoIndomitus 4
Did you thought of grabbing her hand, at least the second time?
Leki_0609 11
This is one of the FMLs where those who voted YDI are stupid because really, i don't know how he deserved to be slapped twice.
BrashlyHonest20 4
I would have just sat there looking around trying to figure out what just happened.
Uggo 4
Did you "turn the other cheek"?
KiddNYC1O 22
I would've tripped the bitch and attack her with rolls.
easyprey 8
Or could of been a lawyer and sued her, sue the restaurant for providing a hostile environment then somehow end up getting them to pay him as there lawyer against himself for more money...
BubbaJ80 11
Smack her in the face or smack her ass
faireanjell 5
That's assault and you should've called the cops on her
Jonny_Blaze0017 26
It was probably a slap bet