Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML
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Top comments
miSsFlien 15
Would've slapped her back the second time.
Pwib 14
I really don't see any way this could be OP's fault...times like these I question the people saying YDI.
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Comments (98)
Tempest151 11
You should have seen the second one coming. Hope it wasn't a backhand though, that's how pimps handle their business.
ddlovatolover 23
That's when you slap her back, look at her for a moment, and say, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."
brackaman 18
No. Slap her back and say you were exactly who I was looking for
brad5150 4
Something has changed in the matrix...
DocBastard 40
No you wouldn't have. You would have sat there with a stunned look on your face just like OP did.
spearcom 13
Mabe she was trying to hit on you??
94yhy 8
"Hit on you" isn't the same as "hit you". It's also different from "hit on you[r face]".
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Ehhh... Sure that works..
iammeorami 25
grammar. ......ugh
Imhere4fml 24
I sense the whole story isn't being told...
buckdharma 38
She did know you op. You're the one who talks through the whole movie while everyone shhshes you, the same one who gets in the express lane with 38 items at the grocery store and then tries to pay with insufficient funds. The one who just changed their order for the 5th time at the restaurant while arguing that your expired coupons are still good. Everyone knows you op. you're the one everyone wants to slap.
theboy13 13
Call the cops...
SoSickWithIt 14
No. You know who you should really call? GHOST BUSTERS!
SoSickWithIt 14
Don't worry guys. We have a doctor to help this person out with the burn they just received.
zenrael 21
Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice, well you get the gist. You should've been ready to counterattack by the second time around.