Embarrassing and Work: Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my... - FML

By number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 419

You deserved it 4 013

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Same thing different taste

Emergency

By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 817

You deserved it 33 943

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 3 443

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 595

You deserved it 4 737

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 018

You deserved it 13 395

By Username - 18/02/2011 09:33

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 018

You deserved it 44 914

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 447

You deserved it 30 898

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 2 601

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 3 876

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 852

You deserved it 11 377

Next

Top comments

evaki1 12

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:27

Boss: Hello?? Op: ARGHHHHHH HMPHHH

every1luvsboners 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:29

Talking shit to your boss isn't a good way to move up the corporate ladder. Although battle ***** might just do the trick.

Comments

kaykay20 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 7:51

Why don't people lock their phone? Most phones should have such a feature so this butt dialing won't happen.

Poetaster 10

Tuesday 18 October 2011 7:55

"errr .. Boss? Just about finished with editing that paperwork you requested. Yes sir! I would be happy to leave it on your desk when I'm done. I just have to clean up a bit of it because it's kinda crappy work.

CyonideCyns 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 7:59

Your name, what you did to it... I see it :) I would add a poo pun... But those aren't funny anymore :(

Nolnah 14

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:14

sit on the toilet, sit on the toilet and flush

The_creator_fml 2

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:16

Boss "im glad you called son, you know your my #2 man"

dcg1375 7

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:22

Another FML that I call Bullshit...never happened. Great scenario though...

Lookinforlove10 1

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:26

Im sorry but thats just funny as shit. You should of been like heyyyy potty buddy!

Eggers 2

Tuesday 18 October 2011 8:51

i fking love that game

ChantelRenaeee 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 9:11

He probably thought the call was important.

Jamicianprince 1

Tuesday 18 October 2011 11:52

I know you get bitched out on here because of you age I do to I am 13 too know how you feel

Chazzasaurus 5

Tuesday 18 October 2011 9:27

That feels like a MLIA hahaha that's pretty awesome

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Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Kids Money Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams School Education Parents Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 943

You deserved it 46 021

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 839

The Top

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 130

You deserved it 2 880

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 717

You deserved it 30 450

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 005

You deserved it 2 679

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 1 480

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 352

You deserved it 5 036

Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 685

You deserved it 4 910