Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my art teacher fawned over my friend's photographs of random children and people making out, while she called my picture of an old man looking thoughtful on a pier "creepy" and "voyeuristic." FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML
Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later, he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML
Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML
Today, I got a request to draw a sexual art of a fictional character. Obviously, because that’s my job, I spent five hours doing it. I gave it to the person and it turns out it was a creepy guy I know and he tried to flirt with me by saying, “You are much hotter than her,… Girl.” I’m non-binary and only sleep with girls. FML
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
third_planet 0
Where's the FML?
bobsanction 18
Pics or gtfo.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
Propayne 0
#10 thanks for being cool :D
dloc1 0
old broads need lovin to if she's rich it's that much better
perdix 31
On the bright side, you definitely won't get in trouble for downloading kiddie **** or being a pedo-bear.
Legend_In_Canada 0
LOL your name deathbysnoosnoo i love futurama
CallMeHush 1
There really should be a photo option. ;p
Mortanious 0
Is she hot? If so YDI for not tapping that ass. I love cougars personally, all they want is to please you in bed.
Punkartmama 0
Can't you block her? Maybe just not open the emails? How is your life ****** because of unwanted emails?
Rota 0
Why the **** would you pass up the opportunity to nail a cougar? Are you ******* retarded?
SmokinGuns 13
Maybe some men actually have standards and don't have sex just for the story.
youaresofucked 0
be thankful SOMEONE wants you. NO ONE ever looks at ME twice.
andrewms 0
are you implying you don't like older women? Your screwed when you're "old"
omgzdude 0
just block her by hitting mark as spam