Intimacy: Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar... - FML

By deathbysnoosnoo - 24/11/2009 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 907

You deserved it 5 586

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Helmut Newton strikes back

By badizzle - 15/09/2019 22:00

Today, my art teacher fawned over my friend's photographs of random children and people making out, while she called my picture of an old man looking thoughtful on a pier "creepy" and "voyeuristic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 04/11/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 872

You deserved it 2 773

By Farva - 24/01/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 42 607

News to me

By Redhottt6 - 05/08/2016 01:24

Spicy

Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later, he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 943

You deserved it 1 638

Simp

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 547

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 555

You deserved it 5 773

Cool prank bro

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 11:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 736

You deserved it 3 564

By Anonymous - 13/07/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 756

You deserved it 4 158

By spinner - 01/09/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 725

You deserved it 5 457

By Chanman1924 - 24/12/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 560

You deserved it 3 749

Next

Top comments

third_planet 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 2:15

Where's the FML?

bobsanction 18

Wednesday 25 November 2009 2:09

Pics or gtfo.

Comments

codycook1 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 20:38

is she hot?

lili555_fml 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 12:47

den block her

kuraisora 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 5:36

Turn her pictures into "art" and get paid for your bleeding eyes. and... I love your name!

CurtisDkidd 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 18:59

I don't see why your life is f'd. you should have ended it FThatCougar;)

MIgirl88 0

Monday 12 September 2011 7:20

Hit it and quit it lol. Solves everything!

kingsley_fml 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:12

Wow, I had no idea cougars could talk!

Dcm210 19

Sunday 29 January 2012 1:33

are you gay?

mike307 11

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:46

The older the berry the sweeter the juice!

polobeastjkc 5

Monday 6 May 2013 5:02

Is she a hot cougar

miniDJ 7

Monday 10 June 2013 6:01

What's so bad about that

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The Top

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 132

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 314

You deserved it 5 700

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "Everyone Poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 436

You deserved it 60 549

Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 266

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 812

You deserved it 5 468

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 720

Today, my girlfriend met my brother who, despite being 10 years older, is taller, smarter, slimmer, richer, more handsome, and just objectively better in every way. He always has been. An hour ago, she broke up with me. Meeting my brother convinced her she'd settled for me and could do better with almost anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 144