Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, I was taking the bus back to my university campus, having left work early feeling sick. While on the bus I started retching. I managed to hold it in for a while, but as I stood up to get off the bus, I started puking through my mouth and nose. This was in front of twenty other passengers. FML
Today, I sneezed on the bus. My AirPods fell out and rolled under the seat of the person in front of me. I awkwardly reached down to grab them just as the bus hit a bump. I accidentally grabbed the person’s ankle instead. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Doctors do say that, instead of your hand, you're supposed to use the crook of the arm to cover your mouth when you cough. They just don't usually specify whose arm.
perdix 31
He should be arrested for arm robbery!
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Comments (48)
04NewEdge101 1
I would have flipped out if that happened to me. sorry OP, that's really disgusting. hope you got the chance to take a hot shower. yuck
tbabyfosho 7
i would have punched him right in the face groooooooss!
hegchog12 18
At least he only coughed into it OP. He could of done a lot worse if he had the time...
knuckleheadknock 26
pretend you got cramp in that arm and punch his mouth... then say "karma, u bitch" and smile sweetly.