Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
YDI for dating a cop(;
coralita 0
he should of brought you one!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
naiisrandom 7
win
DomoLaDii 8
LMAO THATS DIRTY AHAHA...
ThisRandomChild 0
What would have been really awkward is if he put the doughnut on his d*ck and then kept going
camelspanker69 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM GOING TO TRY THAT ONE!
Muwahaha_fml 4
YDI for letting him finish. Heeeeelll no
LullzKitteh 1
start doing those kegels, hon!
White_Knightspc 0
He should've had a V8
joker118 7
lol, if he put the doughnut on his d*ck then it would be a lemon filled
BlackCloudedSldr 5
He's actually trying to scare you off. He doesn't care enough about you to respect you as a girlfriend. Only a personal sex toy. Dear Jessica. You fail if you're still dating him. Although you win if you still are and is trying to best him at his own game. Trying letting a big one rip. We LOVE that.
Bluemonster3 26
He just needed some energy to finish the job D: