Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, I got so distracted by trying to keep my cat from sticking her nose in the open oven door, that I grabbed the hot pan without an oven mitt. Now I can’t use my right hand. My cat’s nose is fine, though. FML
Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
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Top comments
CreepInTheCorner 11
At least your cat was ok....
Squizanaught 8
Am i the only one struggling to pucture how this would happen?
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Comments (89)
olpally 33
Cats are evil geniuses. FML has proven that you don't attempt to save or help cats. The cat would have been feline fine regardless. Haha.
hessel 13
anybody thinking about the fml with the mind controlling cat?
Axipiter 24
Oh my God... They're the same person!
purebliss_fml 19
No amount of ice is going to stop that burn.. Ouch. Is your cat giving you the smug look that most cats have permanently plastered on their hairy little faces? Yeah I bet you're really pissed off.
perdix 31
You are certainly a dedicated cat owner. I'm . . . *lowers sunglasses* im-PRESSED. ;)
PR0RA1N 13
I think most people would've instinctively put the iron on their HAND.
perdix 31
You do realize you ruined your cat's investigation. You could be charged with Obstruction of Justice in Kitty Court.
pedinhuh 23
You might not have realized this OP but, this was just a small part of his plan to the dominate the world! Cats are evil!
TheDrifter 24
Cats aren't evil, just misunderstood. It's dogs that are evil, with their fake loyalty and constant sucking up. They're just trying to get into every household before they make their move.
Smoldering 15
This is true dogs are the true threat. We cats are at least honest with you humans, instead of groveling at your feet to gain your trust.
PR0RA1N 13
I hope your hand is okay
DaggersEdge 6
now you know what their evil intentions are OP, sucks that you burned yourself, but like i said it's all a part of their master plan
PR0RA1N 13
I like that cat...