Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML
Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
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Top comments
SirWTF 10
Umm .. Shouldn't you get some medical help?
HelloSirs 14
Sounds like you are having a ball.
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Comments (150)
AgentSmith79 9
Douse it with lemon juice. It will help you forget about the bleeding.
PaddyCake 2
What you need to do is hold your balls above your head to slow the blood flow.
agentx52 13
Why even shave your balls? So pointless.
pedinhuh 23
Man...I almost felt your pain here...
balletteacher 11
Put some ground cinnamon on it. Sounds crazy I know but it will stop the bleeding.
User57777 13
Where's DocBastard?
c2keeme 7
I skipped most comments looking for what Doc had to say!
conman531 23
That hurt reading it
kaileylovesyew 4
You deserve it for calling your balls your "nether regions"
rivaraven 35
I'd love to read what DocBastard thinks of this. But I'm quite sure you should go and see one irl, too.
Alex_Baca__ 1
A word of advice. If you are going to use minecraft words (nether), then you probably won't need to shave anything. No woman likes a minecraft geek.
uhnevermind 24
"Nether" isn't a Minecraft word. It's a word meaning "below", and it's been around for centuries. Get your facts straight before you try to insult people.
hazardmuffin 21
Sounds more like you're the minecraft nerd, not OP. That or uneducated.
Pandora_UK 7
The phrase "nether regions" waaaaaaay pre-dates Minecraft, and even my grandparents used it. And since you're the one who pointed out the link anyway, it sounds like you're more likely to be a "minecraft geek" than OP. Besides which, I'm a woman and I couldn't care less; I'd prefer that to a guy who's into Grand Theft Auto and the like...
baref00tmama 15
Even if the OP's vocabulary is an indication that they play Minecraft, (which it doesn't seem to be, as "nether regions" is a commonly used albeit slightly archaic term for the genitals) that idiotic "all women hate geeks/nerds/gamers" stereotype is patently untrue. Girls play games too!