Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML
Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML
Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
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Top comments
Fredzter 0
HAHAHAHAHA!! That is brilliant!! xD
Vasir 2
This one time i accidently did that to a macoroni and cheese noodle. i sneezed out the noodle. It still had cheese..
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Comments (88)
Colby_Colbert 0
if the comedians line was "git er done" then you got off easy
DSuarez94 0
was it Carlos mencia?
nyvz 0
git r done :-p
painislife 2
Haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unlucky_angel02 0
That usually happens with liquids, but ok... what was the joke, anyways?
fyl4sure 0
Happened to me before!!!! Except with carrots...
xdorkasaur 0
That happened to me with a cheeseburger one time...
Sethyboy0 4
That's what happens when you eat with your nose...
n42nate 0
I read all the comments that said ydi. YOU ALL SUCK! He never said it was git er done. Jalapenos is just something ppl like on a sandwich, and subway is the best sub place ever! Screw quiznos in the anal cavity!
_FooL_ 0
Taking comedy too seriously, huh???