Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
Abenti 8
You just can't win. FYL
Tigerblossom 19
Just think of what would happen if you made a sandwich for him without him asking for one....
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Comments (107)
jigglypuff34 16
If I can't decide, I just close the lid.
MermaidAnnariea 10
it's actually better to close the lid, since urine & fecal matter (or whatever else is in the toilet) spray something like 8 ft from the toilet if it's left open. including onto your toothbrush. *shudders*
klovemachine 24
(moving toothbrush...)
DanielleinDC 34
I close the lid because I have a cat and don't want to encourage her to drink from the toilet. And asking that the lid be closed obviates the seat up-seat down debate.
guineagirl96 38
Lol I learned that from Bones... Booth was like I got new toothbrushes.. Hannah was like was like was it something bones said. Funniest episode ever
spankykilla 16
Mythbusters did a show on the whole fecal matter/toothbrush thing and apparently even if you have your toothbrush in a drawer, it still has trace amounts of fecal matter *shudder*
tygerarmy 35
I will never understand the toilet seat issue. Look before you use a toilet and adjust it to your needs. It's one of the dumbest things to get mad over.
doctorhook86 25
Never thought I'd find myself agreeing with a juggalo, but here we are.
OptimusVader 23
I love the role reversal going on in this FML.
whY402Jay 12
It's okay, he deserves it for leaving it for not checking it himself. And he probably leaves it up for you all the time anyway.
CheeseHater 23
That was the stupidest thing I've ever heard, why would he ever want that?
The_Thinker 18
Tell him to stop showing his arse - you just can't deal with all his crap. He clearly needs to get his shit together, else he can just piss off. I won't tell you to dump him just yet, but keep an eye out - this situation could get messy pretty fast. And when it does, runs.
perdix 31
Who doesn't look? It's not fair, but guys have to lift the seat to pee and put it down when we are done. Any deviation from this norm will cause chaos!
skyeyez9 25
But had he left the seat up when you needed to use it, he would not have cared that you dont like the seat up.
Futacy 30
Here's a thought that may one day save peace and stability in human civilization: If you need the seat up, put it up yourself; If you need the seat down, put it down yourself.
dancinwookie 21
Nonsense!! That's just way too logical.
FlyingPie 17
You can't always assume that guys only need to pee. He shouldn't have complained to you about it though - it's not a big deal to put the seat down. Some guys just like to have the seat down though. I tend to leave my toilet seat down when I'm done using it - I think it looks odd when the seat is up.
The_Thinker 18
#32 - A lad who leaves the seat down? Brace yourself. The ladies are a-comin'.
ohhitsher 5
Wow. Seems like a lose lose situation.