Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
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Top comments
christophbak 14
I bet urine trouble now
LittleLittlered7 6
Yep, that's normal for a three year old. And pretty tame.
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Comments (24)
middlenamefrank 8
You women don't seem to understand that it doesn't have any sights on it. It's imprecise even for us grown men sometimes.
worldclassrager 41
So close but yet so far...
Nickimariek 20
Lol, that's cute, minus the mess you had to clean up
Dilexar 26
I can see why you want the kid to be seen by an exorcist.
ThrottleJockey 36
I pee a little when I get excited too.
OneFluffyBunny 4
So you moved to Germany and told the parents to get an exorcist? Harsh..
Bchili 9
Witty pee joke
manuwish 9
hahaha sorry OP, that was so cute funny but messy and I understand your frustration, thank you for sharing
djs_nerd 6
Kinky
subtweetqueen 14
Hey everyone, so just to kinda set the record straight, I have been his nanny for just over 2 years and this is not the worst of the incidents we have had, just the most simple to put in print. He went through a vomiting phase where he would throw up if he laughed to hard, ran too much, or ate too quickly. That lasted several months. He and his brother keep me on my toes but I wouldn't let a few bodily fluids scare me away from work. He didn't do it maliciously and his excitement was adorable so the mess was definitely less frustrating to clean up than it would have been if he peed on the floor to spite me.