Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude...

By badbitch23 - United States - Killeen

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

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badbitch23 tells us more :

Op here, okay my wife's mother died 2 weeks beforehand and my mom thought it would be funny to make a joke out of it. So yes the punch was for sure justified. I haven't spoke to my mom since and I'm happily married with my wife.

Love

Understandable

And probably giggling

Cake is everything

By moduschic - United States

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

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23817

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By haileelouxxx - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

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45514

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5408

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By Courtney - United States

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

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22258

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By Red-cheeked

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

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12443

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By badDriver - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

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26626

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By yawho - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

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60245

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By aelia_oups - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

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52209

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

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41584

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By why - United States - Beachwood

Today, the family I was serving had ordered calamari and when I brought out the food, they started yelling at me because apparently their daughter was allergic to it. Just why would you order it then? FML

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13900

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861

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a new computer because my old one crashed, deleting all music, photos, and documents. I still had all my music on my iPod though, and went to sync it to the new computer. By accident, my younger brother pulled the cord out before it was done, deleting all 3,000 songs forever. FML

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49965

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By ST3PH - Canada

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51491

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3672

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By Anonymous - United States - Athens

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

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33533

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6698

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By wtf is wrong with my country - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

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36135

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By never thought I'd say that - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

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39617

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By minimum wage - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

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28232

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By annoyed - United States

Today, I went to my parents' place to visit. My ex-boyfriend's photo is on the fridge, but there aren't any photos of my husband or any of our wedding photos. FML

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34227

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2972

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By Disappointed - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

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26372

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9766

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

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37166

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26351

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By - 22/12/2019 18:00

Travel gift

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1151

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By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 05:01

Judge not

Today, my friend dragged me out of a movie because they swore a bit and there was drug use. Apparently, she's a Mormon now, and, "doesn't want her values compromised." This from the same girl who tried to get me to try crack a few weeks ago. FML

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1607

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

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33661

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By ForeverAlone - Canada

Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML

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12626

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By lexibabe - United States

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

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58762

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By Anonymous - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

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32573

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By confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

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55663

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

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35169

You deserved it

2533

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By communistgirl - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

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26829

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4039

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By fuck you, tasha - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

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45148

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By Tallie

Today, I fell down the stairs, breaking my foot and tendons. It was the first time I had ever broken anything, and the doctor said that it's the most complicated break he'd ever seen. It's too complicated to operate. Now I'm stuck in a wheelchair for god knows how long. FML

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3081

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191

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By Spooderman - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

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25703

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By - 23/12/2019 18:00

After vacation

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

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3254

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247

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By Anonymous - United States - Kansas City

Today, I uploaded a video to YouTube. I have around 20k subscribers, so I'm not a huge deal. I used a "fail" sound effect. I just got an email from YouTube saying that I got a copyright strike. They told me that it was the 4-second sound effect. They copyrighted 4 seconds of my video. FML

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1397

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By brylynn - United States

Today, I fainted during my sister's wedding because my dress was too tight. When I woke up, she slapped me hard across the face. Why? Because I "took all the attention away" from her. FML

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30040

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By Anonymous - 7/3/2020 17:01 - Canada

Logic 101

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

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1414

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By natalieeee - United States

Today, I was talking to this really nice guy who likes me, and he tells me he's packing. I asked him where he was going, he said Puerto Rico. And I said "LUCKY!" He replied "it's for the funeral". I forgot his grandma had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15840

You deserved it

61911

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By Adam - United States

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9342

You deserved it

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By homewrecker - United States

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

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82841

You deserved it

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By Tmth

Today, I'm on crutches due to hip surgery. I went to the fridge to grab a bite to eat, but quickly realized if I wanted anything, I would have to eat there. I can't carry anything. Cold leftovers here we go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10270

You deserved it

867

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By kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

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42408

You deserved it

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By nothowscienceworks - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML

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25806

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Top comments

By rgriff27 | 19

#6479860 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:28

Can I be invited to Christmas dinner?

By Gabbrill | 11

#6479857 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:24

If you say finally, I'd say you deserve it. Since it sounds like you think it's about time!

COMMENTS

By Gabbrill | 11

#6479857 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:24

If you say finally, I'd say you deserve it. Since it sounds like you think it's about time!

blazingshot147 | 19

#6481441 - Thursday 10 December 2015 2:25

Cat fighting to a whole new level... But you do know that many mothers are not ones to correct right? Its just not worth the pain in the ass ya know?

By laxtax | 19

#6479859 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:26

Wow, judging by your username your mom deserved it, but still that sucks. Family get togethers must be awk now

By rgriff27 | 19

#6479860 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:28

Can I be invited to Christmas dinner?

derangedplanet | 23

#6479892 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 11:32

yeah we can bring wine and popcorn XD

BrailynRaylynn | 22

#6479928 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 12:24

I'll bring the video cameras!

Badkarma4u | 17

#6480016 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 15:32

Woooooorldstaaaaar

vikky538 | 28

#6480143 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 17:41

And some sucker punches by OP's wife.

sarahfoundnemo | 10

#6480300 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 20:31

I'll bring a first aid kit too.... just in case

Honest_Guy | 10

#6480332 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 21:07

What about Fruit/Hawaiian Punch?

MankDemes | 15

#6480386 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 22:22

There's gonna be an RKO outta nowhere right across the ham

By thaqueen_fml | 15

#6479861 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:29

Oh don't you just love it when the family comes together?

By KoalaBek | 23

#6479862 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:31

I agree, your wife sucks.

SpawnofAthena | 16

#6479869 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:39

I think that means his wife is awesome. Right?

Sangue0608 | 26

#6479914 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 12:01

I don't believe their sexual relationship was mentioned @5...

yerawizardlizzy | 27

#6480007 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 15:13

27, not everything is an innuendo.

Exobadger | 15

#6480180 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 18:31

5/27 your comments are opinions formed from misinterpretation, so stop commenting, please.

leogachi | 15

#6480227 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 19:18

@59 The comment from #5 was a pun. Maybe you're the one who should stop commenting.

By hellnosucka | 27

#6479863 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:31

can I bring the crew and produce a reality TV show at your house please?

By snoopynicole2003 | 15

#6479865 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:35

She's a keeper!!!

By Danishduckling | 20

#6479867 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:39

I could really use a "HELL YEAH!" button.

By Matteo_G | 16

#6479871 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 10:40

sounds like you are happy about that, why even call it a FML?

By ELoni_fml | 25

#6479878 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 11:03

In case you needed one more reason to love your wife

derangedplanet | 23

#6479889 - Tuesday 8 December 2015 11:31

I think this may be just the perfect example of a perfect pair