Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
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Top comments
dudeutookhrs 24
It was you, wasn't it??
Avi8r 22
I wonder how many people and gonna try to make "the pun"
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Comments (57)
Avi8r 22
I wonder how many people and gonna try to make "the pun"
CLOTHESPlN 17
So far, a few have tried
JazzHandsFML 28
but none have any success
hellnosucka 27
the pun that shall not be named.
GreyJedi 10
Yeah, it's not very punny is it.
george_s_4 32
I will never tell that pun. It's too shitty
Tyrez 32
I told myself that I was going to have a vasectomy but then I remembered that sex is not in my foreseeable future.
yerawizardlizzy 27
What??
MidnaLink 35
He'd want to not have kids, but sadly for him, he has not been getting any for it to matter.
LalapaloozaChick 14
made me laugh
yerawizardlizzy 27
Oh okay. Thanks for helping me out haha.
nickie_94 18
I wonder if he does that at home too
Tarlachia 33
Give him a teeshirt that says "I pooped today!"
tomvertigo 17
Maybe have a chat with him about hygiene and common courtesy.
andrmac 25
Did he want to build a castle with you??
GreyJedi 10
Did he want to build a snowman?
LivToFail 28
"Lookie lookie my poo came out!" and behind him is a long trail of dripping brown toilet water, as kids run in all directions. Thats disgusting and hilarious at the same time OP.
Vitani_Verci 24
Hilarious for you, #21! It took my brain a while to register what was happening but he was 100% proud of his choice. Experiences like this really make you reconsider jobs, let me tell you!
Moskaaa7 26
Should have put it in a box, so he can put it in his room and be reminded of his accomplishment every day.
theamazingd 17
Pretty sure that this kid doesn't need to become friends with Mr. Hankey.
M3DO 24
Shitty situation
team_garra 8
I guess you have pretty shitty luck