Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, my work decided to fire me. Three days ago, I sat down with my boss and asked if they could fix the sewage leak in my office, and maybe look into how loud it is. FML
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Top comments
ironichalibut 24
I bet you're pissed. Sorry, I had to FML..
emiluh 8
Urine trouble lol
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Comments (58)
puppster391 16
The best part of waking up... was not that.
TwinChapter 15
And your manger just left the piss-coffee in the pot? Why would he not dispose of it immediately instead of leaving it there long enough for you to drink three cups? That's not only revolting behavior of your coworker; but of your boss as well.
kemando 22
I think he drank them before the boss found out
AboveAll04 14
necessary? is it necessary for me to drink my own urine ? Probably not. No, but I do anyway cause it's sterile and I like the taste. Ha !
Jemm_fml 29
whut whut?!
MadMaddyson 10
in the butt
timelessone 16
Jemm if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball. The same goes with traffic on a highway.
pathogeek 10
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!
Pesticides 19
have you ever had coffee?
AboveAll04 14
he's probably a sugar guy, which makes it taste better ? Idk
EmsyyyRose13 24
He should have used a drawer this time.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
How about something like this instead. Boss: YOU'RE PISSING IN THE COFFEE POT?!?! Pisser: What? Wrong one?
AboveAll04 14
I guess urine smells like coffee now....I know folgers doesn't smell like that !
timelessone 16
You ever pee after drinking coffee?
davincidasecond 24
Someone should have thrown the coffee pot at him after he was fired. What an asshole.
brittyboo123 35
Hopefully no one realized you drank from it.
graceinsheepwear 34
Because what others think should drive your whole life.
Jemm_fml 29
The best part of wakin' up, is some urine in your cup. So open up to Pisscafe, good to the last drop!