Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Down!
Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML
Prank off
Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
Very bad idea
Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML
Pink tax
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
Jogging is bad for you
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML
Top comments
lGreenspanl 2
well at least you helped your younger sisters dog, and maybe if you explain the situation to the girl, she will understand
satanstoystore 0
explain it to the girl. w/o complaining. you will win points. btw, a broken leg is an emergency. vet hospitals have emergency numbers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
jaimelepink 0
Wow, either you exaggerated or didn't explain this very well... or you need to take the dog to an emergency 24hr animal hospital, and in the mean time STOP MOVING HIM AROUND. What's the matter with you? That's called animal cruelty. SPCA takes animals away from people like you.
cmac86 23
it sucks but you did the right thing. the dog will surely respect you more now.
offbymyself 0
aww. that sucks. if i were the girl, i'd come spend time with you regardless of what you were doing.
Witchcraft_fml 4
Bite him back. Mmm, tasty. No, but really, why are you carrying a dog with a broken leg up and down a flight of stairs? I must be missing something. :/ Oh well, you scored "sensitivity" points with your date and "generosity" points with Karma! Win/win!
perdix 29
See, OP, an actual girl (and a pretty one, at that) agreed with my assessment in my comment (#18), although she more artfully called it "sensitivity points." I'm telling you: it's not your life that is f'ed, it should be you, literally.
Witchcraft_fml 4
Thanks for the compliment! :] I think I like your wording much better, though, Perdix. Go claim your fuckins', OP. You earned 'em.
scateice 0
Uhhh, dogs suck anyway. Get a cat.
_20jre 0
Cats sucks, get a fish, don't have to worry anything
ktho522 0
lolol
jchansfan 0
And you agreed to this whyyy? o_O'
Hacksaw 4
Next time tell her to just take it out behind the house and shoot it, instead.
Asstazztic 8
wow 2 yrs trying to get a date.. well either ur desperate in which case **** the dog man.. its crippled jst leave it food and water and go on ur date uve been trying to go on for 2 yrs o.O
EMR_fml 0
Meant to be a reply to 7 In this part of the country the nearest 24 hour vet is about 2 hours away so taking a wounded animal there is not very practical. No clue why the OP carried the poor dog up and down the stairs
r37s4090Xl7N 0
Pets aren't worth it. I don't see them helping up and down stairs when I'm sick