dantko
Dearborn, United States
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Conroe, United States
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Anonymous
Tasty
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
Helen
Pine Bluff, United States
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
fml9124
United States
Mixology
Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML
UnluckyGroom
East Wenatchee, United States
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
allennn
France
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
France
Explain yourself
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
bmonehh
United States
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
Top comments
maxhhh 18
Sounds like she dropped the ball. *ohhhh*
junkman6 22
I guess her resolution was to get a new husband.
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Comments (75)
octopussperm125 18
Then you shouldve kissed a random guy too
clair_brodie 35
Uhuh, I am sure her reason was she was drunk...
monkyvirus 13
To be fair I once, while exceedingly drunk, became convinced that the guy I was hugging and sleeping on was in fact my boyfriend. He wasn't (which I realised as soon as I took a long look at his face) and I quickly extracted myself from the situation. If the husband and the rando guy looked similar I can see how this could have been an honest mistake. If it's happened before I would be a lot more suspicious (it's the sort of thing that happens once and then your a lot more vigilant when drunk).
azyjazy713 11
Ouchtown. Population: You, bro
Greenguy9 8
I wouldn't talk to her for months drunk or not.
clazedaze 1
She better make it up or you should sleep with her sister
Jarl_the_Elite 27
Only 365 days till the next opportunity :(
Kirbyzx 16
Hold up, hold up. Your date posted says 12/31/13. The ball drops at the very start of the new year. And you posted this sometime after the ball dropped... Something seems fishy.