Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I spent ages cleaning my house, only for my toddler to spill a box of cereal right when I'd finished. As I cleaned up the mess, the dog dragged the cereal into almost every room. All the floors now have what I can only describe as "surprise crunch zones." FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
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Top comments
perdix 29
You need to take that back to the store. Clearly, you should be getting a LIVE, huge cockroach! What fun for a child is a dead one? She should have to run it down, capture it, kill it while enjoying it's little roachy screams and then eat it. No wonder kids are so soft, fat and lazy these days, we taking all the joy out of childhood by giving them cereal will pre-killed roaches. Thanks for making Texas proud.
tinuelena 0
**** HER life! lol :) Gross, though. Did she spit it out or did you have to fish it out of her mouth?
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Comments (80)
iamseamonster 0
OHHHH GROSS I have a fear of cockroaches hiding in food boxes since I found one in a Savoys box.......
youthink_fml 0
Nice job watching a 3-year-old
perdix 29
You need to take that back to the store. Clearly, you should be getting a LIVE, huge cockroach! What fun for a child is a dead one? She should have to run it down, capture it, kill it while enjoying it's little roachy screams and then eat it. No wonder kids are so soft, fat and lazy these days, we taking all the joy out of childhood by giving them cereal will pre-killed roaches. Thanks for making Texas proud.
EatMyCrayonz 0
Arghh I could of just of eaten some golden grahams,, youu put me off now -.- :P
jillz 0
I can just imagine you, with a newfound paranoia, sifting through every cereal box from now on, with a bug swatter in one hand, goosebumps all over, ready to jump back at any moment. *shudder* FYL and your child's life too. :(
iamseamonster 0
I'm not the OP but it happened to me and I'm literally like that now! Well, I check inside boxes, that's about it.
perdix 29
It's not as bad as you'd think. When I was a kid, we came back from a one week road trip and I wanted a nice bowl of Alpen (I don't think they make it anymore). After I poured it, I noticed some of the flakes running around. Since then, I just watch my cereal for a couple of seconds before I pour milk on them.
Ranoona 0
gross!! *gag*
blastvortex 3
Do you mean that you'd rather have let her eat the entire damn box of roach-infested cereal before you realized it? What a nice mother you are. I do hope you scolded the lil' rug rat for both things though. Oi vey... kids...
FerrariCake 2
Looks like the coackroach got to the prize first.
warrenpeace 0
clean your ****** house!
gamergrrl 0
you think, maybe, just MAYBE, it has nothing to do with her house? the box of cereal could have very well contained the cockroach when she purchased it, meaning it could have been the grocery store with the bug infestation, or even the factory the cereal was made...
warrenpeace 0
Oh yeah, that is highly likely. Sounds like you have a dirty house as well!
gamergrrl 0
no, my house is very clean. and listen to the news once in awhile.. they do reports on bugs and other nastiness found at places the food COMES from..
Kervik 0
Your three year old did a dump on the kitchen floor? FYL indeed.