Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad. The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, "I'm sorry. You're not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Please, apologize
Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was in a good mood for once, but my professor looked at me and said, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
Assumptions
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Top comments
0opsie 6
YDI for chewing your gum like a cow. That's really annoying to everyone else who's too polite to say anything.
Mesocoollike 8
It's horrible, but really funny...
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Comments (121)
ADL8 0
you can report her and she can get fired for humiliating a student, lol fat asssss!!!!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Way to make her feel better, asshole. Maybe she can't help her weight. Maybe she isn't really overweight at all.
Helpfulsolution1 0
I could only imagine what you wanted to say back to her. Tell her that you can lose weight but she cant lose ugly!! Just joking, I know how hard it can be to lose weight. This is what helped me humblebeginningsin2cash2.com. Hope this helps.
PulselCie 3
YDI. :D
SovietRei 5
I want your teacher. Seriously, people around me in class chew like ******* cows and none of the teachers do shit about it.
ryanbeast 7
that's not right or legal. you need to report your teacher
fogrunner 13
People who can't chew gum with their ******* MOUTHS SHUT... must have really tiny mouths?!?!?!??!?! AAAAAAAAAARGH
jdawg2010 0
79 you're a complete idiot. Some people are actually born with under active thighroids and so their body doesn't burn calories/fat very easily, or the way it should. So now, douchebag, sometimes they CAN'T help it.
goldens_fml 12
Report your teacher. The cardinal rule for teachers is "do no harm" or is that doctors?
BadDay98 18
N
frecklefacee 6
what a bitch