Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
A completely logical response. Last time I saw a cockroach I torched the place. Sure, it was my neighbor's house, but I'm sure he appreciated the gesture. Washing everything isn't as effective, but it works.
Tarlachia 33
Next time, tell him to go sleep on the couch, and you both won't sacrifice sleep.
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Comments (40)
pygmyfrog 31
I was waiting for the punchline being "He's 19yo" or similar. In some tropical areas cockroaches are endemic, and are even unintentionally swallowed by some people while sleeping.
Soulless_95 20
Thank god I live in Saskatchewan
DoctorMEW 19
I'd have the same reaction to it and I'm 28.
shortcake563 21
totally agree I'm 24 and I'd have the same reaction but I'd be screaming and running they are my biggest fear lol I had one fall off the ceiling at my uncles and he was sitting next to me and I screamed and flung it off of me as it scared the crap out of me and I scared the crap out of him he almost fell out of his chair and he is a 450lbs guy lol
Boobookittyf96 10
I feel like that's a good reaction and you should do that lol
Headcrab 29
I read boyfriend instead of son first. Makes this FML very weird.
xnemesis1981 15
I'm on his side with this one.
itsnotmylife 15
A mom will always do it :)
sazarra 14
I can't say I blame the kid. But that seriously sucks for you too. You were probably exhausted by that point.
SixthSinEnvy 39
I feel the same way about spiders.
ievster 9
You're a great mom! If I was the kid, I'd definitely remember this when older and would be thankful. Even in my 20s, I sometimes ask my parents to kill bugs.
Dale_shackleford 13
Do your parents come to job interviews with you too?
ievster 9
No, my grandparents do
prettygurl89 16
Completely appropriate.