Today, my son followed me around like a shadow, chanting, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom…" to the tune of Jingle Bells. It's March. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I started keeping track. From 7 am to 8:30 pm, my wife, my 11 year-old son, and my 9 year-old daughter screamed for my help 154 times. Every time, it was the most mundane, trivial shit that they could have solved with a nanosecond of critical thinking, but no, easier to bother Dad for everything. FML
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Top comments
itssnotfunny 24
Ah, I remember the good ol' days when I sang that exact song to my own mom. Abruptly ended when I got punted.
fuxtix 17
Plot twist: He's 28....
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Comments (14)
usernamedchecksout 1
Probably he watch too much family guy. I remember Stewie following Lois calling her mom all the episode
imbreadytodie 6
oh nice
404wan 19
parenting bitch, do you know it?
Hangryko 32
Welcome to parenthood.