Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML
Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work that I'd bought yesterday. Around lunchtime, I finally realised that one shoe felt slightly tighter than the other. I took it off and found some paper stuffing still inside. I'd spent five hours walking around with it. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I once again woke up to find a huge gash on the back of my foot with blood pouring out. Turns out, I scratched it with my other toenail in my sleep. This is the ninth time this has happened. FML
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Top comments
Dodger_fan16 11
That guy shouldn't just assume things. Period.
badluckalex 23
put it in your pocket and say you are going to re-use it later. I bet that will creep him the **** out haha
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Comments (74)
hicaduda 8
That sucks
Flared 9
Things I would say because i dont know: Sorry, had a bloody nose. I think this is yours. Can we "drop" this topic. How's you're day going?
jerryj 27
Something's not quite right with that last one. Does anyone know the number to call the Grammar Nazis?
Jared900DUmpling 30
I got really confused when I saw it said "plasters" but then I realized I was being an idiot american
Shad0wjack 6
No, calling yourself an "idiot american" makes you an idiot American. Having to translate plasters to an American equivalent makes you normal, regardless of how hip it is to bash on "Muricans"... How about having enough self-respect to not cater to this stupidity? Wouldn't that be something?
Laurenlou 24
Even though I don't think I've ever heard that word before, I knew what the word "plasters" meant by the context of the surrounding words. I didn't have to think about it at all. It was automatic. Context reading, dude. It helps a lot in life to know how to context read. I'm American and yes, there are many stupid Americans, just as there are many stupid people in every country.
Aquaman911 18
Maybe OP was a Male, guys?
Shad0wjack 6
While some males wear heels, it is a fairly safe inference that the OP is female...
sarneeley 14
Your not an idiot! Plasters is just a term we don't often use or hear. Fml is so educational I'm going to say that next time I get hurt.
jamienicole1993 32
I'm sorry OP, I know how crazy and painful blisters can be. I used to put tissue in my shoes all the time to stop the bleeding. If I were you I would've showed the guy my heel immediately and said "look at this before you assume things!"
lylecrocodile110 2
Look at the tissue, then at him, then cough dramatically and stagger towards him. Whisper "I don't have much time...the bleeding is too profuse....please...." And cling to his coat.
nipun 17
z
nipun 17
Your heels must have been Tampoorarily out of service :-P
TheVurcle 10
Let's just hope you're not a guy..