Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, I was on an airplane back from California. I decided to check out my new $1500 MacBook that I bought the day before. My son decided to projectile vomit all over me, my new computer, and my bag. None of it got on him. FML
Today, while I was flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a newborn puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice into my lap, then coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulence. FML
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I took my toddler on a flight alone for the first time. I packed snacks, toys, everything. Thirty minutes after takeoff, he threw his juice straight onto my lap, then screamed for the exact snack I'd forgotten. The passenger next to me offered tissues and said, “First time?” I nodded, covered in sticky apple juice, for the next two hours. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, at the mall, my 4-year-old son threw up on a man's shoes. When he approached me, I immediately machine-gun mouthed him in public. The man apparently is a doctor and concernedly said that my son may have a rare gastric disease based on the puke. I got him checked, and he's right. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
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Top comments
YumeWolf 23
Wow, that was uncalled for. You did the right thing in this situation, OP!
XXFMLXXQUEENXX 29
Some people are such assholes. Sorry OP.
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Comments (58)
HeyHeyLaurel 4
I can't seem to connect this FML to my account, but I'm the OP. To elaborate a little bit, I was coming home from my sister's funeral and didn't have a choice about flying. It was not my intention to offend him by offering money and I really don't think he was offended, just pissed. He was berating me, saying things like "demon children shouldn't be allowed on planes with the rest of civilized society" and "you need to get your spawn of Satan off this plane, ****" (those were some of his exact words). I felt like reimbursing him for the damage was the right thing to do. There was a very nice guy who defended me and offered to switch seats, which I was glad about because I was starting to legitimately fear him and I was afraid he would hurt my son, and a flight attendant asked for the police to meet us at the gate when we landed. The police recommended pressing charges. I thought about doing that, but I decided not to because I already have enough stress to deal with right now. I just have more important things to worry about and didn't feel like it was worth the hassle.
WitEluded 13
I am going to go with YDI for multiple reasons. First, if your kid is sick, don't bring them on a plane, or if you do, you take the middle seat and put them on either side. Even if your kid wasn't sick beforehand it is your responsibility as a parent to check on your child and see if they start feeling ill, then take them to the bathroom. In addition to that, the man will probably have to throw that shirt and maybe pants away. I mean do you really expect him to carry some vomit soaked clothes with him for the next few hours? You should have offered to go with him to a shop in the airport when you land and buy him a new shirt and pants.
schreibergx93 19
You, commentator, are an idiot. I say that for a couple of reasons. First, you assume the parent intended to fly, and you also take the stance children should not be on planes. I say this because you even mentioned if the child wasn't sick before the flight. Children are unpredictable. One moment they are happy and laughing and feeling fine, the next they're projectile vomiting because their stomach tossed a bit and got unsettled. You have no right to deem a parent at fault for not being able to predict a baby of vomiting. Second, he does not have to throw the clothes out. He can simply use a bathroom to rinse them as best he can, put them in a plastic bag and change. Someone vomiting on me will not force me to throw my clothes away, it's wasteful and simply means you don't value yourself enough to understand bodily functions happen.
buttonnose88 5
I agree with #53, but I would also like to add that a one-year-old often flies as a lap child, which works great for kids that small since they usually just want to be held anyway. Therefore, there is no choice to put the child by the window and take the middle seat because you only bought the one seat. Also, you're an insensitive person who obviously either has no children, or has never been put into an embarrassing situation with your child... yet. They are unpredictable, and part of being a parent is trying to learn how to roll with the punches.
Dexter83_fml 17
Just remember #44 you are going to be old one day too :)
sNOOBie_fml 24
Maybe he had a bad day and the vomiting was his last straw. Either way slapping you and yelling at you in front of your child was a wrong decision (OP has replied to this FML as #46) and you were the bigger one for apologizing, offering money and not press charges. Godspeed, both to you and you child, and lots of comfort hugs.
MidnaLink 35
And he'd be flying right out the window. Seriously, was the guy raised by beings that came before Neanderthals?
shitstorm28 11
did you press assault charges?
EishSoree 2
Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss... What is wrong with people?!? OP you did all you could, and reacted better than a lot of other people would have in that situation! You could have totally ruined that guy's day by pressing charges. Having a record could ruin his career depending on what he does, when he is not being an asshole on a plane. All these douchebags that think that they should be the only ones allowed to fly: You were also a baby once, and will one day also be an old person, unless someone takes real bad offense to your nasty attitude and sorts you out sooner. Shut up an deal. If you do not want to share a plane, WALK.